It’s My Potty and I’ll Cry If I Want To

Until a coworker pointed it out to me, I somehow missed a front-page story in the Washington Post this past Sunday about the potty-training woes of a 3-year-old girl.

If, like me, you missed the story because you were busy all weekend helping your own toddler use the bathroom, among other parenting duties, here’s a summary: Little Zoe Rosso was suspended in December from a pre-school program in Virginia because she had too many accidents.

I’m not the only parenting columnist to write a reaction to Rosso’s story, probably because it hits so close to home for many of us. Anyone who has ever worked with a child to help her get a grip on this life skill knows how hard it can be.

Few things so far have made me feel as helpless as a parent as trying to make my daughter feel comfortable doing something that seems so simple, something we grown-ups all take for granted. But then one day, after a couple months of struggle and fretting, she just got it and everything seemed to click.

Until a kid is ready and receptive to suggestions and guidance, at least in my limited experience, nothing – including suspending her from pre-school for a month - can make a child “go.”

We were blessed to have patient teachers guiding Lucy at daycare. Even on days when we’d carry home damp clothes, her teachers were nothing but encouraging and kind, and I know that made all the difference in the world.

So to read Rosso’s story is to immediately think of your own child and how she would feel after walking a mile in Rosso’s Pull-Ups. Having her story told so publicly (even if it was a well written, compassionate story) makes me feel her family’s embarrassment and frustration. As proud as a toddler is when she succeeds, the shame of failure can run just as deep. And how is that going to help her learn?