Moms Talk: Children Hearing 'Adult Conversations'

A friend recently relayed a story to me that sparked this question: When are we, as parents, exposing our children to too much information?

She shared that she and her husband were discussing the family dynamics of a kindergarten classmate of her son’s. 

The family was blended, with children from two different marriages, the result of a death and a divorce.  Unbeknownst to my friend, her son was eavesdropping on the conversation and decided, the following day, to reveal its contents to his friend at school.  As you can imagine, what followed was a fairly awkward phone call from one of the parents who, until her son’s revelation at school, had not shared much of their family history with their 5-year-old son.

As my friend and I discussed, this situation could happen to any parent of children with “big ears.” My daughter is the queen of eavesdropping, strategically planting herself within earshot of any adult conversation worthy of her interest, and later peppering me with questions about it.  

In these cases, the conversations happened between two adults in the near presence of small children hearing, and later misinterpreting, information not meant for their young ears. It happens often and is largely unintentional.

But what about cell phone calls?

Growing up, I caught snippets of conversations between my mom and her girlfriends.  The high—and low—point being one conversation when my mom exclaimed, “Damn!” in response to some news crossed over the phone lines. Intrigued, I repeated the phrase several times, at several inopportune moments, and ultimately had my mouth washed out with soap.

Most moms and dads, mine included, had little time for at-home phone calls lasting long minutes into meal, homework, bath and bedtime. Likely, my mom carried on most of her phone calls while we were in school or elsewhere, making our eavesdropping opportunities few and far between.

Today, busy moms and dads are attached to their cell phones and blackberries, as they link them not only to their personal connections but their professional lives as well. With time so precious, conversations are frequently held in the carpool line, in the supermarket or on the sidelines, within earshot of sensitive ears. While we are so careful to have certain face-to-face conversations behind closed doors, we are less careful about those exchanged on our cell phones.

Whether out of necessity or negligence, our children are undoubtedly parties to facts, conversations, even words like ‘damn' (or worse) from which we would, under different circumstances, have shielded them.

It is not an indictment of technology, as cell phones are the very vehicles that bring immediacy and convenience to our lives. However, we should remember that constant walking and talking in the presence of young children could very likely yield an awkward phone call about information wrongly interpreted and shared.