Moms Talk: 'The Birds and the Bees'

T-minus one week and counting until my son turns 1. His big sister is about 3½, and she is suddenly taking great interest in where Isaac came from and just how he got here.

Lucy’s latest catchphrase, proclaimed around the house and around town, goes something like: “What was in your tummy? It…was…a…BABY in there! And then he came OUT of your tummy!” Picture some hand gestures and ballerina twirling for effect.

This is usually followed by other questions like, “How did he get out of there? Mommy, does your tummy open up?” She also wants to know who else was in there and how they came out, as well as whose tummies my husband and I came out of.

The questions come pretty quickly, and I’m thankful at least for the brief warning in the form of the there-was-a-baby-in-there proclamation. But I’m still caught off guard every time. I find myself in the position of having to think on my feet to give the kind of answer I’d like her to have, which is to say I'd like it to be vaguely factual and not full of cutesy euphemisms for body parts whose real names she doesn’t really need to know just yet.

In regards to how her brother made his exit, I say something like, “Uh, yes, sure, Mommy’s tummy opens up. When a baby is ready to be born, he or she comes out the mommy’s tummy.” Not exactly a falsehood because so many babies are born via C-section these days, right? As for who else was in there, that’s easy: just her and her baby brother. And emphatically no, the dog did not come from mommy’s tummy.

The much trickier question is “How did the baby get in there?” That’s when I've found myself saying something that made me wince because it would have sounded more natural coming out of the mouth of a mom who prefers water births in a homemade yurt to the 21^st century labor and delivery suite. I said, “You know how you planted sunflower seeds at school? Well, Daddy and I loved each other so much that we decided we wanted to have more of us around to love, so daddy planted a seed inside mommy and then a few months later, we had a baby.”

The answer made her happy and she went about her business, but inside I was cringing. I’m just not ready to have The Talk in its entirety with my 3-year-old daughter. Someday, sure, we’ll go there, but not just yet. At least I didn’t violate my self-imposed no euphemisms rule; metaphors are still OK in my book.

What do you think? When is the right time to talk to our children about the birds and the bees (metaphor!) and how should you break it down for them?