Time-Outs: Time-Tested or Torturous?

I’m a loyal reader of the popular blog Dooce, written by Heather Armstrong, a mother who is arguably the godmother of all mom bloggers.

I like her hilariously frank take on parenting and appreciate how she also uses her blog to do some good for the world, as she did with her recent posts about a trip she took to Bangladesh with the nonprofit group Every Mother Counts, which advocates for better maternal and child health around the world.

Now that I’ve plugged Heather and done my small part to further a worthy cause, I’ll selfishly turn the focus back to myself and a recent Dooce posting that hit really close to home. It’s about using time-outs to help the little ones cool their jets after they’ve gotten out of line, or simply acted the way small children are going to act, which is to say, rather annoyingly, oh, 65 to 75 percent of the time, on any given day.

As Armstrong wrote, “Time-outs gave [her daughter] the space and time to calm down, and it removed us from the equation. And since we weren't screaming at her to, you know, CALM DOWN, she'd realize, hmmm, Now that it's quiet and I can think clearly, my parents are totally right. Or something like that.”

The Lunday household also endorses the time-out.

We dole them out liberally with our 3-year-old daughter, Lucy, who thus far has clocked many hours in two-minute intervals sitting on our stairs during the course of her short life. Common infractions include poking her 14-month-old brother in the face, sticking her finger in his ear, bonking him on the head with toys, and blowing her top after being allowed to watch only one episode of her beloved Olivia.

Pretty typical toddler behavior, or so I hope.

Anyway, a typical time-out in our house involves marching Lucy to our carpeted steps (lest you worry about her comfort), inviting her to have a seat and wait for the microwave timer to go off after two or three minutes, depending on the offense and/or how much time I personally need to cool off.

Depending on the day, how tired she is, or what phase of the moon her astrological sign is currently in, the time-outs go one of two ways: Either they are calm, quiet affairs that end with an apology, or she spends the time galumphing up and down the stairs and wailing “Mama!” or “No, YOU take a time-out!”

So while Lucy may sometimes act like time-outs are a cruel and unusual punishment, I beg to differ. For lack of any better techniques, and for the fact that I read somewhere once that it takes kids many, many rounds of being told not to do something for it to actually sink in, the time-out remains our imperfect discipline solution on the grounds that it is at least moderately successful.

But I’m wondering what you think. Readers, are time-outs a time-honored method of discipline? Do any of you parents out there have other suggestions for gently getting your misbehaving imps back under your control?