Don't Give The Gift Of Germs: 5 Rude Tips To Avoid The Flu

The holidays bring out the best in everyone. Unfortunately, it also brings out some of the unhealthier habits of the year.

In a year where the flu is widespread in 23 states, according to the Center of Disease Control, you practically need a Christmas miracle just to stay on your feet. Click here to see if your state is among the overly contaminated.

Thankfully, Patch is shimmying down your chimney with a sack full of (way-too-obvious and kind of rude) health tips. Call us a Grinch, we'll call it smart. Besides, you know you've thought them all before:

Avoid the too-close-to-the-mouth kisses from Uncle Steve. There is always lots of love during the holidays, sometimes brought on by the happy spirits and sometimes by, uh, bottled spirits. When your distant relatives come in for a smooch, hang the mistletoe over the dog instead.

Say grace, wash, rinse, repeat: Holding hands during the pre-meal prayer is sweet. It's also the greatest gift you can give germs. If you go straight from palm-to-palm to palm-to-ham, you're icky.

Don't drink straight from the eggnog carton. In fact, don't drink eggnog at all: One cup is well over 200 calories and about 50 percent of the recommended daily cholesterol. But if you're going to hog the 'nog, don't be gross: Use a cup.

Bundle up for your vape breaks. When the guys go outside to puff a bit, make sure they've got something decent on. While they may think shorts and a cigar is classy, you know better. Give the gift of wisdom.

Cute, but dangerous. We love Christmas. We love kids. We don't love these little freakin' angels rubbing their snotty little hands over everything, though. If your cousin isn't keeping her little ones away from the dinner plates, maybe gift her a playpen next year.

(Bonus tip for mental health: Don't. Talk. Trump.)

Merry Christmas and happy holidays, all.

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash