An Astrologer's View on The Journey

“I saw the cover and I judged the book
I turned away without a second look
But now, now, now
I see a brand new you.”

- from the Musical “13”

I almost cried in Walmart.  No, I wasn’t getting all sappy in the greeting card aisle, although I’ve been there plenty.  I was shopping for a baby gift when I heard a sweet little girl’s voice begging to be let out of the carriage.  I winced as I heard her father yell at her to “shut up."  When they came into view, I saw she looked like my youngest at that age - shoulder-length blonde hair, ruffled shirt, shorts, and little white sandals.  Her brother, who looked about seven, was shuffling beside them, looking at the floor.  First I felt anger grow hot in my belly, and my throat got tight as she promised that “thiiiiis time she would liiiisten” and walk beside him.   He wasn’t having it.  He threatened loudly that if she didn’t stay in the carriage, he would take her out to the car.  This turned her whine into a full-out wail.  “I don’t care, I don’t care!” he repeated, as she cried.  I wanted to cry too.  I found myself thinking “Why is he being so MEAN?  Why can’t he give her a second chance to walk beside him?  At least hug her as he explains why he can’t?” I wanted to ask him if he needed help.  However, I didn’t think I could ask him nicely, and really, was it my business?  He wasn’t hurting her.  I didn’t need to call security. So I walked away quickly to sort out what I was feeling.

It didn’t take long to turn my perspective around because I remembered what I often tell my clients – “Everyone has their journey."  I needed to take my own advice.  I’m a firm believer in non-judgment, always keeping in mind how difficult it can be to practice.  I’m guilty.  I’ve been surprised as clients, who look like they have it all together, tell me how they’re falling apart.  I’ve found myself envying wealthy women who seem to have everything, only to hand them tissues as they cry about how infidelity broke their families.  Then I ran home, hugged my husband, and suddenly that vacation we couldn’t take this year seemed trivial.  I say this from the very core of my being - If the grass looks greener somewhere else, there’s probably something you’re not in on.  On the flip side, if you find yourself thinking “I would NEVER do that!”, you either have a short memory or you haven’t been in those particular shoes.  Have I ever been frustrated with my kids?  Found myself apologizing to them later? Let’s just say my husband has used the word “nuclear” with me a few times.

Having four planets in Virgo, the sign of service, compels me to want to fix everyone.  Having Mars in Leo, the sign of ego, makes me a bit too confident. This can be a dangerous mix.  Once I was giving a friend astrological advice, feeling that I was just being helpful.  Why shouldn’t she take advantage of my skills?  My insight?  Just one problem.  She never asked for my help.  It was completely unsolicited.  Lucky for me, she didn’t write me off as a know-it-all on a high horse.  She was calm and centered in telling me she didn’t feel astrology was a great tool for her at that time.  The lesson hit me like a ton of bricks and I’ve never forgotten it - She’s on her journey.  Unless she specifically asks for my help, I have to leave her to it.  Support her, yes.  Let her know I’m here if she needs me, definitely.  Aside from that, keep my mouth shut. 

Besides, aren’t I the one always telling people that life is a school and we’re here to learn?  How will anyone learn to fly if they don’t fall a  bunch of times?  There’s a Buddhist proverb that says “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Being ready means being vulnerable.  It means humility.  It doesn’t mean being stressed to the max at Walmart.  I’m grateful to The Universe for pulling me out of there.  Now I think of that man and wonder – When he first let his daughter down from the carriage, did she run off?  Was she lost for a minute and was he terrified?  And why was he shopping alone with the kids?  Where was his wife?  Was she home sick?  Was he trying to single-handedly take care of his family?  He may have felt the weight of the world on his shoulders at that moment.  Any way you slice it, he’s on a journey.  We all are.  Sometimes we need to reach out to each other.  Sometimes we need to lean on each other.  And sometimes - with as much compassion as we can muster - we just need to leave each other to it.