J. Crew Ad Has Mom Painting Son's Toenails Pink—Real Issue, or Much Ado About Nothing?

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So grab a cup of coffee and settle in as we start the conversation with today's question ...

Recently, an ad emailed to J. Crew customers showed designer Jenna Lyons with her son, who was wearing pink nailpolish on his toenails. The caption on the ad read, “Lucky for me I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink. Toenail painting is way more fun in neon."

The ad generated attacks from social conservatives; a writer at the Cultural Media Institute called the advertisement, in a blog post, “blatant propaganda celebrating transgendered children."

Does the J. Crew ad raise a serious issue? Or is it a tempest in a teapot?

Kate House:

I can't help but feel that the entire brouhaha surrounding the toenail-painting photo is absolutely ridiculous. Just talking about it is a poor use of perfectly good brain cells, if you think about it. So the mother is painting her son's toes. And so the color she happens to be painting them is pink. Would it have been any better if she had painted them a manly olive green, or a nice camo-tinted shade of beige? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the little boy was so thrilled to be enjoying some one-on-one time with his mother that the activity in question was secondary to the actual company he was keeping.

Kids like what they like. And they don't give it a second thought, at least not until they reach a much older age OR unless someone tells them to give it a second thought. Who are we as adults to imply that what they like, or what they consider is fun, will somehow point them in the direction of one sexual orientation or another? A parent's right is a parent's right, of course, but making too much of "proper" gender roles strikes me as a complete and utter waste of time.

Diane Sutton:

I have to tell you, my now 17-year-old male son was always wanting to paint my toes as a 4-year-old boy. Everytime I made it to the nail shop for a pedicure they would roll with laughter at how each toe was painted a different color: some pink, some yellow, some red. I never thought twice it would make a life-altering decision and it didn't. He is a respectable manly man. Also, I am very proud of my oldest son and his wife who have an adorable 3-year-old son (my grandson) who loves the color pink and they let him have it in choices of colors be it toys or food items (cupcakes, jellybeans). I don't have any doubt in my mind that he will grow up to also be a respectable manly man, and if he didn't we wouldn't love him any less.

Molly Phillips:

Seeing this ad reminds me of a play date we had once with some boys. At the time my oldest was 3 and way into dress up so she got all gussied up in a big frilly gown. One of the boys asked if we had a Peter Pan costume. Hmm … no, but we have Tinker Bell? Satisfied, he put it on—wings and all. For the other boy the only thing that would fit was a Cinderella dress and he happily put it on. They added shoes, wands and crowns for maximum effect and proceeded to parade around the house singing and dancing. One of their moms was there and we thought it was so cute and funny (the way that underwear on your head is cute and funny) that, naturally, we took pics and promptly posted them on Facebook. The moms laughed and thought it was hilarious. Their dads were less than thrilled. I agree with Kate. Kids are what they are and painting one's nails (or dressing up for an hour) is hardly a harbinger of what's to come. My nephew always painted his nails  when he was little because that's what his older sisters did and now at almost 9 he is still all boy. It's about finding common ground. Nothing more, nothing less.

With my own girls, as much as they love dance, dolls and dress-up, they can't get enough playing with trains, cars, being bad guys, digging in the dirt for worms and playing sports like hockey and baseball. And not once has anyone asked if I'm worried about what it will do to their sexual orientation. It seems like a ridiculous notion if you ask me. But see a boy in a ballet class, playing with dolls or painting his nails pink and suddenly we have a pearl-clutching moment? I think the larger question should be WHY is it okay (and often times encouraged) for a girl to transcend gender stereotypes but the opposite is seen as potentially indicative of something more unspeakable?

Erin Drogan:

I can't believe this actually became a controversial news story! In may ways, I think of boys with painted toenails as a cute rite of passage for toddlers. It is something they soon grow out of desiring, but it is darling for what it stands for—wanting to be like mom! Speaking of moms, my mother always says, "Boys like pretty things too."  And though I have to admit, I would not buy my three-year old boy the red, glitter Mary Janes he wanted (of course, why would you want a pair of plain striped sneakers when those are also on the shelf?), I have no qualms about toenail polish.  And if it makes him want to be a beautician, so be it. It will be nice to have someone in the family that can help us all look pretty!