Concern about Dog Park Etiquette

December 3

An open letter to the women at the Needham dog park this morning around 11am,

This morning I came to the dog park. You were there with your children and dogs enjoying the sunshine and open space for the dogs to run around and get some energy out. I was there to do the same. My dog spent most of the time sniffing around and wasn't too interested in playing with the other dogs. He came over to me every so often just to check in. You see, he's a good boy. He's a rescue dog - a purebred mutt - who had a rough start but he got a second chance at a better life. Now he's an American Kennel Club Canine Good Citizen with the behaviors and certificate to prove it. He knows his name and commands and he never jumps on anyone. He loves to snuggle and even waits right outside the bathroom door while I shower. Around the house I jokingly call him my shadow. He also has a nose for squirrels and has tried unsuccessfully to climb trees in their pursuit. Once he tried to befriend a skunk; it didn't work out. It is for this reason that I like to bring him to the dog park. He can be off leash safely and spends a lot of time with his nose in the air sniffing the things he knows are out there just beyond the fence.

When you left this morning, three adults with as many kids and dogs, you opened up and walked through both gates. You did not close the interior gate and look to make sure all dogs were where they should be before opening the exterior gate. I was walking toward the gate because when I came in the interior gate was not latched and I was worried you might not use the two-gate system on the way out. My instinct was right and my dog snuck out. I tried to shout to close the gate because I could see both doors open and him making a break for it, but it was too late. I pushed through. I forcefully closed the interior gate on one of you. I'm sorry. I could see you looked annoyed by my action but my dog was running off and I panicked. I hope you realize I said close the gate and pushed it closed so hard on you because I was angry and scared and couldn't have the other dog with me run off too. It's hard enough for one person to catch one dog in the woods, let alone two.

I ran, screaming at the top of my lungs, fighting back tears and trying to keep an eye on my very fast furry friend. I've spent time in the woods without trails so I know how to see the paths animals take. I tried to follow them all while watching my dog, nose to the ground, chasing something unseen. I ran the Boston Marathon but he's got twice as many legs and always has me beat. I ran up and down hills. There were leaves, logs, and muddy puddles under my feet. Branches pulled at my hair. Then, he was out of sight. I called his name so loudly my throat became hoarse. I called my mother and said the dog was out and she jumped in the car to come help. Another woman came with her dog to help track him - she said he had a good nose and would follow him. I called my sister but hung up. I called for him again and again as loud as I could. I heard a rustle and he appeared, running in my direction. He came back. I grabbed his collar. I called my mom and with a shaking voice said, "I have him." My sister called me and through tears all I could say was "He's back," over and over. She didn't have to come join the search party but I know she would have. After all, he's family.

I called out to the woman and her dog that I found him. She had gone so far she didn't hear me. She crested the hill and saw he had returned and I shouted again that he was safe. While I was calling out to the kind woman who rushed to help so I could let her know he was safe, I saw one of you walking toward the woods. Were you coming to help or apologize? I can only assume you heard me say I found him because you turned around. When I came out of the woods and came in sight of the parking area, you were all pulling away.

Now that he's back safely, I'm not mad. I am disappointed that you didn't bother to stay for another minute to take the time to apologize. I am sad that you didn't try to help me find him. I am concerned that you were not paying attention to your surroundings and because of it, my dog got out. I am upset that as dog owners and dog park visitors you haven't taught your children the proper way to use the two-gate system and you didn't use it yourselves. The two-gate system exists for a reason. It exists for my dog and many others like him who are great dogs but who also are too tempted by the smells of squirrels, coyotes, and deer outside the fence.

If you had stayed, it would have sent a powerful message to your children that you should own up to your actions, even if something bad or scary - even if it's temporary and accidental - happens as a result. It might have been a lesson for you too. As much as I might have wanted to after he initially took off, I would not have yelled at you. I would have asked you to please always be aware and use the two-gate system as it is designed and encouraged you to teach your children to do the same. I would have told you and your kids that it all turned out ok and I'm just glad I have my dog back. I expect that if you were in my shoes, you would have felt the same as I did in those moments: annoyed at the person who opened the gate, terrified of losing a beloved pet, worried that he would get beyond the woods and find the road only to be struck and killed by a car, scared because he's the same color as a deer and could be struck by the arrow of an illegal hunter, nervous about what would happen if he didn't come back after dark. I bet you also would have appreciated any help in finding your dog and getting an apology.

Next time, please be more careful. Please don't be afraid to take an opportunity to face someone in a difficult situation and use it as a learning experience for yourself and your children. Please use the two-gate system. My dog probably thinks that this was the best day of his life, but as for me, I'd really prefer not to repeat it.

Thanks,

Jess