Sometimes, You Don't Need Much

I feel that I see a lot clearer now.  This has little to do with (helllllo middle age!) my swanky new progressive eyeglasses that I finally broke down and got.

(Funny side story on this.  When I picked out the frames and brought them up to the register, the clerk, looking for the serial number on the inside, exclaimed, “Ooh, from the Paula Deen collection, pretty!”  Whaaaaat? The Paula Deen Collection?  I immediately updated my Facebook status to reveal embarrassment – which made a friend inquire if they’d come with a stick of butter.  Good one, Tony.)

Regardless of my keen vision, I just feel … I don’t know … more aware of time and the importance of it. 

I found myself extremely content over the Thanksgiving holiday and counting my blessings often.  Unlike last year, when I was forced to celebrate for the first time without my mom or my oldest son, who’d just left for his Air Force training, my immediate family was complete this year.  And it was just us.  No relatives, strays, no nothin’.  If you ask the kids, they’ll tell you it was lame.  And boring.  And that all their other friends were having ridiculously raucous times.  But simply eating a meal together and playing silly games afterwards and fighting over curfews later on (come on people, it’s not Narnia) brought a great sense of happiness.

Even after a night of turkey tryptophan I still wanted my sweatpants and comfort food – so the very next day I threw everyone in the car and we made a four-hour road trip to visit my ol’ college roommate and her family.  She was one of my bridesmaids, she’s a godmother to my Luke and – the biggest bonus – she’s a beacon of hilarity.  She’s so funny she makes me look like the somber wallflower in the room.  Really.  Naturally I got the teenager resistance when they got their early wake-up call but I held firm.  Women know:  nothing beats legs curled under you on a comfy couch with one of your best friends in the world.  (And alcohol.  Always, always alcohol.)  So THAT was amazing. 

The next day we returned home in time to make a big group outing with some great friends and had a lot of laughs.

It was a Mary Poppins long weekend:  practically perfect in every way.  But …..

the thing is …

with every moment of simple joy I felt came a little bit of sad reality.  Not for our little cocoon mind you (seriously, the Sadness Bitch better stay far, far away from my home this year), but elsewhere in our six-degrees-of-separation existence.

A friend’s mom passed way --  in quite the same manner as my own last year --  dredging up remarkably vivid memories of my own sadness like it was yesterday.

A beloved member of our community suffered unimaginable tragedy in the final days of her pregnancy.

An awesome grandpa in my sister’s life was dealt the cancer card.

A local teen lost her precious life.

A treasured friend to many moms here lost her health battle and left behind her young family.

And probably many, many more things that I’ve yet to hear about.

It was all happening while I was counting my blessings.

There was terrible, horrible, unspeakable, bad stuff swirling around me while I watched my kids giggle and belch and wrestle and just be.  And while I enjoyed my time with the people I hold most dear, these sad, sad things were always present, even in the farthest corner of my mind. 

So I am acutely aware that time is precious.

I hope others do, too.

-- Tina Drakakis

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