Have You Met Somerville's Biggest Nuisance?

Here at Somerville Patch, we post a lot about serious crimes, but we’ve been leaving out all the minor inconveniences - the transgressions no one gets arrested for, because this is not a perfect world.

Examples: Where’s our story about the roommate who ate all your Cheerios and somehow manages to use three rolls of toilet paper every day? What about the ex-boyfriend who’s constantly posting Facebook updates about how awesome his post-relationship life is going, but refuses to give back the “Arrested Development” DVDs you’re certain he stole before he moved out? What about the snide bartender? The excessively-friendly barista? The landlord with no respect for boundaries? The guy at the gym who smells like he’s been wearing the same T-shirt, socks, and sweatpants for his last 100 workouts without ever once stepping foot in a laundry mat?

Basically, we need obnoxious Yelp reviews about humans.

And that’s where you come in, readers. Know of anyone around Somerville who’s simply begging to get put on blast? Submit your nominations for “Somerville’s Biggest Nuisance” to barry.thompson@patch.com, and we’ll run the best (well, worst, really) of the lot.

Note: For a bunch of legal reasons, real names won’t be published in this thing.