10 Top Solutions From Patch Readers on Solving Somerville's Space Saver Problem

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Earlier this week, the City of Somerville asked the public at large what in the bejesus they should do with the colossal mounds of miscellaneous junk, formerly used as parking space savers, recently collected from Somerville streets.

As a favor to Somerville, we’ve rounded up the best suggestions provided by readers in that story’s comments section. City officials can probably just pick one of these and that’ll be the end of the problem once and for all.

1: “Craigslist” - Shref40

2: “Grind it all up, add recycled rubber, and pave the roads!” - Mikepiehl

3: “Give [the chairs] all to Clint Eastwood....He needs to start practicing his next RNC speech…” - Guest

4: “Melt down all the plastic chairs and create a giant tank that can be used to crush all violators.” - Hey Cupcake

5: “Turn the space savers into an ArtBeat art installation! Then auction off the art to help the snow removal fund”- Joanzie

6: “Ship them to third world countries with schools in need of supplies. I’m sure they can use the chairs, and from what I can see, some families in huts can use them” - Jack

7: “If you’re not going to have the common courtesy to get the word out via mass media that the chairs are subject to pickup and destruction by the city, then pour them into a shredder and make park benches…” - Hummana

8: “They need to appoint a ’chairman’ to oversee this problem, and they shouldn’t take it laying down!” - JB55Pisces

9: “Allow a comfortable period of time that is widely publicized that allows city residents free access to the piles to pick out items of their choice” - Bob

10: “I see one or two chairs in that pile that can be used for sexual athletics...Just sayin’” - Hoecuervo

Bonus Award for Most Interesting and Least Helpful Suggestion: “The problem is you think you can screw with Mother Nature century after century and get away with it...................All spicies [sic] including humans are biological (even though the religious nuts think humans are special)........ The planet Earth is a biological entity......................Mother Nature, like all biological entities, will defend itself.......................You have screwed with her, she is going to screw with you.......................Guess who is going to win that fight [sic] morons [sic] and it ain’t Jebus and the rest of the made up clowns you dance too....” - Larry