Why you need to know I’m not perfect to enjoy your holiday season

On the surface, I’m an extremely upbeat, organized and successful life and task juggler. I’m a wife, mom, volunteer, business professional and soon to be student (again!). Friends, colleagues and new acquaintances regularly cite my ability to undertake new feats and balance my life as impressive. I’m regularly asked what my secret is, and this holiday season, as a gift to both myself and you, I want to divulge that secret. Are you ready for it?

My secret is, I’m not as remarkable as people think I am, or want me to be. While people who know me may be awe-struck by all of my undertakings, I can assure them and you there are parts of my life that don’t receive the care and attention they deserve. And for every smile, generous act or pearl of wisdom people receive from me, I promise it took me fighting through tears, mistakes and self-regard to make those acts of kindness happen. The truth is, I am flawed and struggle with many things, but most people don’t see that. On a regular basis, I fight through anxiety, grief (especially this time of year), family problems, financial insecurities and health issues…The list goes on and on. In short, while I am genuinely (and most of the time) a happy, talented and productive person, I can also be a frazzled scatterbrain that falls down quite a bit (figuratively speaking of course).

So now that the cat is out of the bag, I feel better, but do you? At this point, especially if you don’t know me, you may be scratching your head trying to figure out why you should care that I’m not as put together as others see me. Here’s why you should care — It’s important for you to be reminded that:

• You are not alone
• There is no value in comparing yourself to others

As you know all too well, the holiday season, more than ever, brings the best and worst out of people. While many people are out and about gleefully parading around the malls shopping and humming Christmas tunes, joyfully spending time with friends and family and blissfully cuddling up alone by the fire with a good holiday read, there are others who are alone, feel alone and whether they have the courage to admit it, are comparing themselves to others and are feeling down, blah and depressed.

My gift to you: Know you’re not alone and when you find yourself wishing you were someone else, remember all the “perfect people” you encounter (like “me”) aren’t as jolly as you may think. Yes I’m enjoying the holidays with a wonderful family, yes my house is decorated, yes my shopping is almost done and yes I’ve been rocking it on the professional side of things lately, but that doesn’t mean I have all my ducks in a row and that I’m not feeling alone and bah humbugish this time of year. Truth be told, in many ways, I’m distracted and uneasy this season. I sorely miss my deceased dad, I miss what I consider to be my good ol’ days and I'm apprehensive (although optimistic) about a few big things happening in 2017.

Just like you, just like me, everyone is struggling. My advice to you is this, if this article resonated with you in any way— share your story. Find someone to open up to about your secrets, wants, needs, fears and mixed holiday feelings. You may also want to do what I did and identify a way to help lift people’s spirits. You’ll feel better about yourself which will set you up for a fresh and successful 2017.

I hope I provided you with some peace, comfort and motivation.

Happy holidays.

Sincerely,

Your friend- Danielle Clark: The Tewksbury mom with mountains of trash in her car, a ferocious temper behind closed doors (thanks for loving me anyways Ron and Aaron), the attention span of a goldfish and a heart of gold (a phrase regularly used by my beloved dad)

Dedicated to all of my family, friends and fellow Tewksbury residents who deserve to know that I’m not who you think I am :)- and to be reminded that it’s okay you’re not perfect- especially this time of year. I love you all dearly.