Grandmotherly Advice to Spare (Even If You Didn't Know You Needed It)

Blogging?  I didn't have a clue what a blog was until recently!

I, you see, am just a grandmother, a mother and a wife.

Why blog now you ask? Well, it seems that history does repeat itself when it comes to mothers of daughters especially and, as the mother of a former teenage daughter, the same issues (and some new ones) just keep popping up. I wondered if parents, especially mothers, would appreciate someone to share their trials, tribulations and triumphs with! (I'm certainly open to mothers of sons and fathers of daughters and sons, too.)

At this point in time, I am witnessing the dynamics between my daughter and her 13-year-old daughter. Sometimes it give me great pleasure (I'm so naughty) to remind my daughter of her teenage antics and that "This too shall pass."

Thank heavens the other grandchildren have a few more years before they are officially teenagers.

What I do find that is vastly different from my parenting years is the influence of electronic devices -- more choices, more distractions, more problems.

I have a booklet written by the pediatrician Dr. T. Berry Brazelton that describes how grandparents should act. In this booklet are many "tips" to help the grandparent(s) in their role(s). They include:

- "Grandparents make profound contributions to their families, so take your role seriously.

- Share family history, traditions, and holidays with your grandchildren. It helps instill a sense of family, belonging, continuity and security.

- Respect the rules and limits that your children set for their children. Grandparents should indulge their grandchildren - within reason. When it comes to the major issues, abide by the parental guidelines.

- Be sympathetic and supportive when your children run into parenting difficulties. Resist the temptation to intervene with advise and criticism. Never take your grandchildren's side in a dispute they may have with their parents. It undermines parental authority."

and, last but not least

- "Lavish your grandchildren with positive feedback on everything from schoolwork to arts projects. Your praise helps build self-esteem they'll need to get along in the world."

I have also found that, whether you are the parents of girls or boys, one thing is universally true - keep the lines of communication open - the best place to talk to your child is in the car - you have a captive audience.

Do you agree with Dr. Brazelton's "tips" for grandparents? What say you?