Remembering Mom

Hello Woburn.

I was working on another blog post today when I realized that next Sunday is Mother’s Day.

It got me thinking about my mother. My mom passed away a year ago in February at the age of 90. What I started thinking about is the fact that I was lucky she was in my life for 53 years. There are many people who never had even one day with their mothers, so I am truly lucky. I hope you will indulge me for a few minutes; I want to talk about my mother. So please join me on a son’s journey of remembering.

Let me just explain a few quick things about my mother before I get too far along. My mother was born and raised in North Woburn. In fact, I live directly across the street from where she lived. My mother’s life changed for her in literally a heartbeat one cold January day. On that day there was a knock on the door; My grandfather (mom’s father) opened the door to see two representatives from the US army at the door. At that time my mom’s two brothers were serving in Europe. Knowing immediately that one of his sons had been killed, he had a stroke right at the door. So not only did my mother get the news her eldest brother had been killed in action, her father was now in a coma. My grandfather passed away in a few days, and my mother was never really the same. The road was so covered in snow, she called then Mayor Kane to get the road open so the funeral home could take her father. Mayor Kane refused, I guess that’s the kind of guy he was. All the available men in the neighborhood were rounded up to carry her father down the hill through the snow to the hearse. It was a memory she carried for the rest of her life. She never liked nor trusted politicians after that, and as far as I know, for the rest of her life, she never voted again. 

My mother married my father shortly after the war and lived in Central Square, and then North Woburn, before moving to Wilmington. My mother gave birth to my sister in 1948 and was told at that time she could never have any more children, but guess what? 10 years later they had me! And now I would like to share some of my memories of her with you.

My mom was a stay at home mom; she took good care of us. Some of my earliest memories are of her sitting outside and watching us play in the yard. I remember my first day of school and how she sat in class with me until I stopped crying, which took about three days! She would sit for a while, and then sneak out the door. I remember coming home and first having to discuss the school day with her and then she would make sure my homework got done before any TV was allowed.  If I complained about my teacher she would say “the teacher is always right.”

In later years, I used to come home from school, and her “soaps” would be on. I still remember watching “Another World” and the characters on them. About the time I was around 19 years old, the Three Stooges came on around 4 p.m. I was home from work at 3:30, and two of my friends came over every day after work to watch them with me. And she would sometimes stop what she was doing to join us and watch for a while. I think she did this more to laugh at us than the TV. This was about 1977, we had graduated school and were working, but we still were kids really. If I remember right, Moe was her favorite. My wife and my friends still tease me to this day because when I was sick, she would bring me Lipton Soup in bed right up until I married and moved out. As for making my bed, she wouldn’t allow it. She stripped my sister’s bed as well as mine every day to do the sheets. I remember her hanging wash out on the line; we didn’t get a dryer until the early 70’s. And when she caught me smoking, she was hurt. Even though everyone in my house smoked back then, I think she wanted me to stay away from it. I got caught by my neighbor, who saw me hanging out the bathroom window smoking and she called my mom. She waited for me to come out of the bathroom, and she was sitting in the living room with this look of sadness. She said to me “I’m not going to harp on you, but look at what smoking does to people.” “It’s your money, but I wish you wouldn’t do it.”

At one point in the early 60’s she became a contractor for a film company and set up her work area in the cellar. She would review, label, box, and ship all sorts of films all over the world. There were nature films, science films, even films about history. Eventually she had four people from the neighborhood working in our cellar every day.  If I wanted a few dollars she would put me to “work” previewing films on the projector. She would handle shipping and payroll and stop at 11:30 a.m. to make lunch for my dad who came home to lunch, and at 4:30 to make supper, then go back down stairs to finish. When she and my dad purchased some property up north for a vacation home, she would work alongside my dad doing what she could. You could also find her keeping the grill going with the coffee pot on it. She always had a pot of coffee going, even at home.

She did not get her license until she was in her 50’s, but she never mastered the art of driving, it was a white knuckle ride when she drove us anywhere! Seriously, the kids in the neighborhood ran anytime they saw her coming down the street in that yellow Cordoba. After my father passed away, she continued for another 27 years, and I don’t know how she did it. I know she missed him terribly every day. She would call me on a Friday and tell me she had some chores for me to do. Her favorite saying was, “20 minutes and you will be all done.” Usually it was two to three hours later, everything was a 20 minute job in her mind, and I find myself thinking that way also. I always think: “20 minutes and I will be done.”

Eventually as her health failed, we struggled with how to cope. At first I thought I would convert my garage here in North Woburn to an apartment, but we still did not have full time care for her so that was not an option. We agonized for many hours over having to choose a nursing home, but we did choose to do it. I always felt like I let her down, I knew she didn’t feel that way, but I did.  She did have a few good years there though. We would bring her Coffee Coolatas when we visited, and the first words out of her mouth upon arrival were: “Did you bring the drink?” When I bought my motorcycle, (which she was strongly against) I would stop to see her at the nursing home, and park it out in back so she wouldn’t see it. Somehow she found out, I’m sure one of the nurses mentioned it, and she asked me to pull it up to the window so she could see it. After she looked at it, she turned to me and said “Just promise me you will be careful.” I promised her I would. So even then she worried and was watching out for me, even though I thought I was watching out for her. The last few months were hard on us. I think somehow she knew her time was near though; she seemed to sleep more and not say as much, until all she did was sleep.

So, as Mother’s day draws near, I wanted to share a small glimpse of my mother, there is so much I could say, but this blog would be five pages long by the time I was done. Thanks for letting me share a few memories, and if you are lucky enough to have your mom in your life, give her a kiss and a hug, and if you’re too far away, call her and say: “I love you mom.”

Peace to all of you, and to all the moms and moms to be: Happy Mother’s Day!