Treat Yourself With Patience and Compassion

Like peanut butter and jelly, patience and compassion are two virtues that fit together so nicely!  We are asked and reminded by society on a regular basis to feel these things for others - through religious affiliations, commercials on tv requesting donations, nonprofit organizations, our government, etc.  It is rare that we are encouraged to apply these characteristics to ourselves. 

Instead, we are hyper critical of our decisions, our looks, our failures, and even our achievements. We condemn ourselves for mistakes made years ago while holding sometimes an unreachable bar high over our heads as a marker for future achievements and determining selfworth.

The online dictionary defines 'patience' as: 1.the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like. 2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay-and stability. It implies qualities of calmness, stability, and persistent courage in trying circumstances.

'Compassion' is defined as a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

Its easy to apply these virtues to those whose situations seem more dire than yours, but the true test of your abilities comes in how you apply these words to yourself. Life is not about one-uping the neighbors. In the same way, its not okay to ignore your reality because someone else has something worse to complain about. While keeping your problems in perspective is a great coping skill, it can do more harm than good if the result is you not feeling that your emotions are justified or your experiences are not worthy of sympathy.

Often times, it is through the process of emotionally connecting with ourselves and others that lends to growth and overcoming of obstacles.  By having our experiences and emotions validated, we can start to form a path of healing from our wounds.  We all have the ability to validate our own emotions by being patient with ourselves; by showing ourselves compassion.

When was the last time you had patience and compassion towards yourself?  Towards someone you care about? How do you practice this in your own life?

Consider what it would feel like to exercise patience with yourself - how many self-condeming thoughts would suddenly vaporize and be replaced with more gentle words?

If you were to find compassion, wouldn't that require you to examine your experiences and find value in them, identifying your strengths and accomplishments despite the challenges you've faced in life?

Shift your focus for the next week on finding patience and compassion for yourself, and notice the change in how you speak to yourself and feel about your challenges and struggles.

Its much easier to ride out a storm when you are in a safe vessel for transportation. If you are beaten and broken by either condemning yourself, or ignoring the cracks because someone else's boat is cracked worse than yours, your ship will still sink. Take care of yourself by exhibiting patience and compassion. This body is your only vessel. Treat it with tenderness and kindness and you'll find that you have the strength to weather any storm. You will arrive on the other side of it and be able to look back at what you've overcome with pride.

Tammy Greene is a Licensed Mental Health Therapist with a thriving private practice in downtown Woburn. She is currently accepting new clients. Feel free to visit her website at www.tgperspectives.com to learn more!