Let's Talk Law: Wisdom of Solomon

A situation has arisen lately that, in my eyes, presents a dilemma of Biblical proportions. Many have heard of "the wisdom of Solomon," usually in describing someone who consistently displays exceedingly sound (wise, if you will) judgment in matters of great difficulty. 

According to the Bible, King Solomon was king of Israel somewhere around 950 BC. He was, according to most sources, extremely wise and was greatly respected, both in his time and historically.

There is a story that most people have heard at some point in their lives that describes two women who came to King Solomon with one baby. According to the story, the two women lived in the same household, and each had given birth within days of each other. One of the babies died, and both women claimed to be the mother of the baby that lived.

King Solomon, in a decision that would have definitely gotten him referred to the Judicial Tenure Commission today, decided that he would cut the baby in half so that neither mother could have the child. Though it was likely a bluff, Woman A implored Solomon to let the baby live, and award the baby to Woman B. Woman B was unmoved, and had no problem with Solomon cutting the baby in half. Hearing this, King Solomon knew that Woman A was the mother, because no mother would allow her child to meet such a horrible fate, and he awarded the baby to Woman A.

That was long, I realize, but it is relevant to much of what is happening in family court every day. It saddens me to say, but more than one parent has come to me in the last 14 years and told me that he or she just wanted to give up his or her custody or parenting time because they have felt that the other parent is willing to destroy him or her, and in turn, the children, in order to get what the other parent wants: victory, revenge, retribution, whatever you want to call it.

Is there ever a situation where a parent is justified in backing away in order to preserve the peace, so to speak? Or is there never such a circumstance? I make no judgments; I'm simply here to listen. Like Dr. Phil.

And I do not write this so that parents can vent about what a horrible person the ex is, but so that parents can reflect on how their behavior and attitude can affect your kids. If any parent reading this is involved in a custody dispute, you may want to think not about King Solomon, or Woman A, but the baby of Woman A.

See you again.