Move Over Holiday Season, Wills And Trusts Are Bigger Trigger of Family Conflict

If you think the holiday season has the power to unearth historical family tensions and erupt in conflict, consider the effect of an inheritance dispute.

That’s the premise of Farmington Hills attorney P. Mark Accettura’s recently released book, Blood & Money: Why Families Fight Over Inheritance and What To Do About It ($21.95, Collinwood Press, available at BloodAndMoneyBook.com).

The book debunks the myth that fights over inheritance stem from greed and squarely places the problem in the realm of evolutionary psychology and family dynamics.

“The fight for money and things, such as dad’s watch or mom’s wedding ring, is not about the object or money itself, but is really about what the money or object symbolizes – importance, love, security, self-esteem, connectedness and immortality,” said Accettura, senior partner at , a firm that specializes in estate planning and elder law, and the author of three other legal books.

In addition to exploring the psychological underpinnings of inheritance quarrels – with reference to high-profile cases like those of philanthropist Brooke Astor and real estate entrepreneur Leona Helmsley – the book offers practical and legal prevention remedies. Included are 60 specific recommendations aimed at helping not only lay people, but also lawyers, elder service providers, financial advisors and family counselors.

Accettura, a former University of Detroit Mercy School of Law adjunct professor, conducted extensive research in social and evolutionary psychology, gerontology, psychiatry and related fields to complete the book.

“Practicing for 30 years, I saw families predictably going through the same conflicts, and I knew what was going to happen, but I didn’t exactly know why people behaved the way they did,” he said, characterizing the five-year project as an inquiry aimed at answering that question.

The intersection of family dynamics and estate planning is relevant to all families, but especially timely given the increase in both Alzheimer’s disease and elder abuse, said Accettura.

Bottom line, legacy is about people and family, he said. “Money comes and goes, but what we do leave behind is the family unit. Our greatest asset is our family legacy.”