Novi Public Library Shares Anti-Bullying Tips

The hosted an anti-bullying presentation titled "Step Up So Others Don't Get Stepped On…Let's Stop The Bullying" on Monday evening for the benefit of local students and parents. The program was created and presented by Kristina Kased and Christina Dedvukaj.

Kased and Dedvukaj both received their counseling degrees from Oakland University with an emphasis on school counseling.

"We're doing this because we want to change the world and change lives," Kased said. "Bullying is a hot issue right now, and we want to tell kids that there really are things they can do to stop it."

The tragic effects of bullying have been prevalent in the news in recent years. The Columbine tragedy in Colorado and the suicides of Rutgers University freshman Tyler Clementi in the fall of 2010 and Massachusetts high school student Phoebe Prince in January of the same year have all been connected to bullying.

Dedvukaj said during her presentation that more than 160,000 kids skip school every day because they fear being bullied.

Joan Sung of Northville attended the presentation with her 11-year-old daughter Iris Sung.

"My daughter will be starting at [in Northville] in the fall. If someone is bullying her or her friends, she might not know what to do, so we came in tonight. I think this presentation is great!" said Sung.

The presentation included advice on how students can identify and stop bullying, including cyberbullying via social media sites, instant messaging, texting and e-mail.

"One of the things we focus on is to teach kids how they can help when they see others being bullied," said Kased. "85 percent of bystanders do nothing when they see someone being bullied. And, about half of all bullying incidents go unreported. We want to change that."

Although the event was lightly attended, Margi Karp-Opperer, assistant director of the Novi Public Library, said she looks forward to hosting similar events in the future.

"One of our goals is to work and partner with Novi’s teachers and schools and to promote the resources we have available for them here at the library," said Karp-Opperer.

Here's a summary of the major points from Kased and Dedvukaj for how students can deal with bullying:

What is bullying?

• Punching, shoving and other aggressive physical acts.
• Spreading rumors and gossip.
• Exiling certain people from groups.
• Teasing in a mean-spirited or cruel manner.
• Getting certain people to gang up on others.
• Direct bullying (face-to-face threats, insults and exclusions) and indirect bullying (rumor spreading, gossip, cyberbullying via email, postings on social media sites or texts) are equally harmful.

What NOT to do if you're being bullied:

• Don't think it's your fault – it's not.
• Don't keep it to yourself and just hope the bullying goes away.
• Don't fight back by becoming a bully yourself.
• Don't skip school or avoid clubs or activities you enjoy just to avoid a bully.
• Don't think that you'll be a tattletale if you tell an adult what's happening.
• Don't hurt yourself or make changes to yourself in response to bullying.

What to do if you're being bullied:

• Confide in an adult such as your parents, teachers or school counselors.
• If you’re uncomfortable, ask that your report of bullying remains anonymous.
• Stay in a group and continue to participate in activities you enjoy.

Are YOU a bully?

According to the presenters, “If you are hurting or threatening others in some way and using your size, strength or popularity to do it, you’re probably a bully.”

So what’s the answer to that? Go back to basics like the Golden Rule, the presenters said. Simply treat others as you would like to be treated. Think about what you’re doing and how it affects others.

Kased and Dedvukaj are available to present their anti-bullying program at local schools, clubs and libraries. They can be contacted by calling 248-939-1866.