'I Just Feel Blessed To Have Had Her'

I was sifting through some of my old junk yesterday when I came across a poetry notebook I made in my sixth-grade Language Arts class. Though I’m no Shakespeare (closer to Shel Silverstein, but still, not quite), I thought some of my musings were pretty good for an 11-year-old.

The poem that stuck out to me the most was one called Remember, and as with most things these days, the word “remember” made me think of my Ninie.

For those of you that don’t know, more than a few years ago my grandmother was diagnosed with Dementia, a mental disease that causes your short-term memory to progressively go more and more kaput. Anyway, here’s the poem that made me think of her:

Remember

I wish I could remember
the first time that I saw you
My life would be different
I wouldn’t be me.
I wish I could remember
the first time that I met you
it’s so very vague
I just can’t recall
I wish I could remember…

Gee, my 11-year-old self sure was insightful.

Sometimes I find it hard to remember what she was like before she was diagnosed. Sometimes I think she finds it hard to remember what she was like, too. I just feel so blessed to have had her – and to still have her – as such a strong presence in my life.

When I was little, she was my Ninie who made the best tuna fish sandwiches, who would take you all the way into town to the fair just to get french fries, who would accidentally swear and cover her mouth with her hand and laugh, who would make you feel like you belonged somewhere when no one else did.

So, every year my family donates to the Alzheimers Association, and we try to get a team together for the Memory Walk. Although Ninie hasn't been diagnosed with Alzheimers, it's a similar ailment to Dementia, and we're not too fond of either.

So, share with me. Do any of you have relatives with memory problems? How do you deal with it? How does it make you feel? Comment below, or send me an email at everydaybytay@gmail.com.