Oh NO! You're Not Graduating!

Oh No! You’re Not Graduating!

This is the time of the year when students and parents eagerly await the final day of school and the impending graduation ceremony. It is a time of joy and apprehension as students celebrate their accomplishment and ponder their next societal or educational steps. For high school students, will it be college, the military, or a specialized field such as becoming a physical therapist? For college grads will it be the pursuit of an advanced degree or perhaps a career in the corporate world? Whatever the choice, it can be a time of stress.

During this time, students will gather for a graduation ceremony which is often augmented with a commencement speaker. At times the speaker is a luminary from government, a renowned author, a comedian, or the CEO of a major corporation. Among this year’s orators are Arnold Scharzenegger, Will Ferrell, Joe Biden, Oprah, Hillary Clinton, The Dalai Lama, President Donald Trump and Theo Epstein. The speeches can be inspiring, dull, humorous or forgettable. Of these speakers, I would like to hear Theo Epstein, Director of Operations for the World Series Champion Chicago Cubs. Everyone is a Cubbies fan especially after a 108 year drought! Now there’s an accomplishment!

Several years ago I had the honor and privilege of providing the commencement address at Oakland University in Rochester, Michigan. At the time, I was the Director of the Michigan Quality Council in the Governor Engler Administration. I’m sure most of the graduates were expecting a luminary and then I show up. Ugh! My theme was twofold: I used the poignant, inspiring words from the movie theme song “Alfie” to illustrate that we need to think less of ourselves and more of our fellow neighbors. Here are some of those words:

What's it all about, Alfie?

Is it just for the moment we live?

What's it all about when you sort it out, Alfie?

Are we meant to take more than we give

Or are we meant to be kind?

And I concluded with a Top Ten List: Signs You Won’t Be Graduating Tonight

10. Instead of a diploma the school President hands you a McDonald’s hairnet

9. Your grandma starts to affectionately call you “Lil Flunky”.

8. Your diploma is signed by Sally Struthers

7. Cafeteria workers ask: “Anything in particular you’d like to see on the menu next semester?”

6. When you raise your hand to speak in class the teacher says: “Save it for next year”.

5. While I’m reading this list, you’ve already nodded your head at least three times in agreement.

4. Your name is Becky Filberton, you’re sitting in our audience, and you failed the final in your class.

3. You’ve been at the school since 2001 and your biggest accomplishment is scoring 150,000 points on the video game “Blitz ‘99” in the Student Center.

2. Your name is Melinda. This year’s graduation theme: “Sorry, you won’t be graduating Melinda”.

1. You have accumulated a record high 74 parking tickets in the “teacher’s only parking lot” and as I speak your car is being towed.

There you have it – not words from a luminary but perhaps thoughts that will bring a smile. So if you are a proud graduate this year, hope you are enjoying this major accomplishment relishing in the moment that I was not the commencement speaker. Enjoy that moment but heed the words of The Dalai Lama that parallel those of Alfie: “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible”.