Having the Talk About Car Keys with Elderly Parents

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A metro Detroit family is going through something many may relate to as their parents grow older: What’s the best way to take away an elderly person’s car keys?

Vivian Heap, 91, of Redford Township, told The Detroit News she has no plans to stop driving.

“You’d think I killed someone,” she said, explaining her children’s reaction after she ended she ended up in Bay County after a wrong turn that sent her 115 miles out of her way and left her at the mercy of strangers overnight.

The kids filed a missing persons report during her absence, then demanded she stop driving once they finally got her home from the unplanned 18-hour excursion.

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• World’s Oldest Living Person Credits Long Life to Living by Golden Rule

Linda Grenier says her headstrong, fiercely independent mother has no mental infirmities other than normal forgetfulness. She was still going bowling last year and only gave up golfing when she was 89.

“She’s not your typical 91-year-old,” Grenier told The Detroit News. “She doesn’t like old age. She can’t do what she’s used to.”

But after Heap’s detour home from a bridge game five miles away Wednesday, her adult children want the car keys. Read how that’s working out on The Detroit News. But we’d like to know:

• Have you had the driving talk with your elderly parents? Do you have any tips that might help others going through the same thing?

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention offers a few observations that may help guide your conversation:

• Driving is a healthy activity that helps Mom and Dad maintain both mobility and independence.
• While their likelihood of being injured or killed in an accident increases with age, it’s not necessarily because your parents are making poor decisions behind the wheel.
• Mom can probably drive longer than Dad.
• Worry points are ages 75, when fatal crash rates begin inching up; and age 80, when there’s a notable increase due to greater susceptibility to injury and medical complications.

The CDC estimates there are 33 million drivers age 65 and older, and an average of 500 older drivers are killed every day on the nation’s highways.

The CDC offers several tips to keep older adults safe on the roads, including getting regular exercise to maintain strength and flexibility, reviewing prescriptions with physicians and learning about their side effects, getting regular eye exams and others. You can learn more on the CDC website.

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Photo via Creative Commons