Commas Really CAN Save Lives!

It happened to me a couple of years ago in the way most epiphanies happen. That is, I didn’t get the AHA! moment until much later. Sometimes it takes that long to process what happened and to give it the meaning it truly deserves. In my case, the catalyst was a goofy tee-shirt with Zen reverberations.

I was having a really super crappy, super bad day. Nobody understood what I was talking about, and I couldn’t figure out what everybody else was griping about, either. I was in the throes of total communication shutdown and shutout with no breakthrough in sight. It felt like I was trapped in a revolving door at The Tower of Babel with no Wi-Fi. Then I saw these words of wisdom on a stranger’s tee-shirt:
LET’S EAT GRANDMA.
LET’S EAT, GRANDMA.
COMMAS SAVE LIVES.

No wonder there was such a communication gap! Suddenly, I realized the true absurdity of our language. If a little punctuation mark can completely change the entire meaning of a sentence, then how can we be expected to effectively communicate ideas? How can we convey intended meaning through language if ONE little comma can render such unintended — and unexpected — meaning? And yet, why do so many people refuse to punctuate when they must know, on some intrinsic level, how important punctuation is? That day, we all had to deal with the semantics, but I also had to deal with people who weren’t even TRYING to communicate clearly. Seeing the writing on that tee-shirt, though, helped me put it all into proper perspective.

Then on the way home, I spied the best bumper sticker ever:
NOW THAT I’VE GIVEN UP I FEEL A LOT BETTER.

Sometimes radical acceptance — or just plain acceptance — of the human condition can get you back on track faster and further than Churchill’s defiant “Never, never, never give up.” Sometimes it just makes sense to give up. So that’s what I did. I gave up on getting any understanding from people who refused to understand. And I actually did feel better.

Later that night, I picked up a magazine and started reading about another hard-working employee in a stressful job. In her workplace she said there was a plaque that read If A **holes could fly, this place would be an airport.

Ah, yes…There will never be any shortage of jerks at school, at the workplace, in the marketplace. We’re surrounded. At times the only thing you can do is shake your head and laugh. Of course. That’s what all these little sayings that appear in the strangest of places can do for us. They’re little lifelines from the Universe. They’re master haikus from The Great Beyond.

If remembered songs can be the soundtrack of your life, then the right words at the right time can be the poetry of your life. What’s amazing is how these bon mots show up when you really need them. Almost like turning on the TV and suddenly, without warning, your favorite actor in your favorite movie just happens to show up on the screen.

Funny thing, once you understand these synchronous messages, you become receptive to them. Then once you become receptive to them, they start popping out everywhere — like dandelions on a green lawn in June.

Over the years I’ve been accumulating these wise and witty words because they’ve had such an impact on my life. True, they often appeared in whimsical ways, but they also arrived right when I needed them. In fact, during tough times the right words seemed to magically come out of nowhere. So I’ve captured them, and now they’re on the walls, on the shelves, and on notecards and tees.

Feeling that empty annoyance after a disappointing high school reunion? Remember, as humorist Martin Mull once quipped, Life is High School with Money. My own personal take on high school and beyond is Too Many Prom Queens, Not Enough PomPoms. Hey, cheerleaders! Stick that on your refrigerators!

Feeling bullied and unappreciated just because you’re a nice person? Take this suitable-for-framing advice from mezzo-soprano Marilyn Horne: Sometimes You Just Gotta Bring Out Those Prima Donna Guns. (Ahem! Figurative — NOT literal — “guns.” She wasn’t talking about packing heat, she was talking about using your own personal power to keep the bullies at bay.)

Feeling like a wimp because little things keep wreaking havoc with your life? Take a hint from physician-turned-author/playwright Anton Chekhov: Any Idiot Can Face A Crisis… It’s This Day To Day Living That Wears You Out. Amen to that one, brother. Put that in your cubicle.

My favorite film noir quote, sexist though it be, comes from the movie “Out of The Past”: A Dame With A Rod Is Like A Guy With A Knitting Needle. Yeah, it sounds really silly, but it always makes me laugh. So once upon a time in America, men weren’t supposed to knit and women weren’t supposed to shoot? Sooo 20th Century.

Here’s a Japanese proverb that echoes today’s fascination with grit: Fall 7 Times, Get Up 8.

My tribute to freedom of speech can be found on a plaque by the back door: Speak Your Mind — But Ride A Fast Horse.

By the front door, a life-affirming sentiment is stenciled on the back of a bookcase: Life Is Not Measured By The Number of Breaths We Take, But By The Moments That Take Our Breath Away.

On the same bookcase sets a wooden shadowbox with my favorite inspiration from boxer/humanitarian Muhammad Ali: If Your Dreams Don’t Scare You They’re Not Big Enough.

Dreaming, loving, learning, laughing, understanding — they’re all important keys to living a good life. Unfortunately, life sometimes gets in the way. Sometimes we become so frazzled that we forget about them. That’s why we should always be ready for any reminders the Universe wants to give…even if these synchronous messages do show up on tee-shirts, bumper stickers, or refrigerator magnets.