Finding Light in Helping Others through the Inconceivable Loss of Their Son

He loved to love and be loved. His wet, sticky kisses, daily quiet time with his head resting on my heart while he contently sighed, and the warmth of those arms around us during our group hugs can still and will always be felt. Walking down a familiar grocery aisle, eating raisin bagels, spending a day at the lake where he loved fishing (or drowning worms), or just a simple “moment” are sometimes the only things that get us through the day.  

He had his own language of love. When he began attending nursery school he learned that the red heart I drew on his napkin for snack time meant that we loved him so big! His simplistic version then became “Big Hearts Always, Mommy, Daddy!” We still use that phrase today and it still zings our hearts.

Cody was born on August 19, 1990 and left us too shortly thereafter when he lost a ten day battle with an airborne virus on December 10, 1995. He was five years, three months and ten days old.

The day before Cody left us I told him we would never let him go anywhere without us that wasn’t happy and safe. Since he knew early on the true meaning of Christmas, I told him that he would celebrate Jesus’ birthday with him, talking about fishing and other great things. As his heart monitor was flat lining and he was slipping away, I reminded him that a lifetime here is only a blink in heaven, and once he got there, to turn around and watch, we would be with him soon.

Was it true when others said “Cody had a light about him”, “That boy was special”? Do angels run around naked wearing only a red baseball cap and cowboy boots? Is it true old souls come to earth in very young bodies to serve a purpose? If all of this is so, we have been blessed beyond reasoning…

In biblical terms the name Cody means helper. He was almost to a distraction a helper, and through Cody’s Foundation, he still is. This and our incredible love for Cody is the reason we started the Foundation in August of 1997, sharing that passion with children who have known little to none, in whatever way necessary.

Through our Cody’s Foundation work, we can always feel him close. Our mission is to bring aid to abused, abandoned and neglected children. We hope that, through this expression of caring, these children will come to know even a small amount of the love that was routine for Cody on a daily basis.

Since our inception, our efforts have been ongoing in raising funds and supporting organizations such as Nutley Family Service Bureau, Nutley Red Cross, University Hospital in Newark, Newark Beth Israel Hospital, and The Safe House. We are continually hands on and work directly with individual families in crisis referred to us through area churches, local organizations and private inquiries. We are also happy to have added several child advocates to our foundation family. Through them we are able to help fill the needs of children from unimaginably cruel circumstances. Their cries for help are rarely made public, for either privacy or security reasons, making our advocates invaluable to us.

It has been a privilege through the years to have provided financial assistance to help keep kids in their foster homes when promised funding didn’t materialize. We were excited to start a tutoring program for eight year old twins, so neglected from birth they had no comprehension of letters or numbers, but quickly advanced academically to their grade level thanks to the creative teachings of our very determined tutor! One of our proudest moments included financially assisting a child in need of a kidney. He is now thriving, doing well in school and working to help his family. We have provided counseling and housing for young mothers with children trying for a fresh start in life and always fill requests for hospitalized children with medical issues ranging from chronic illness to unspeakable forms of abuse. Each year produces new challenges to be met and lives to be cared for. We believe in the “hand up, not a hand out” approach.

In addition to our local commitments we are now global! In August, 2008, we started a desperately needed community livestock project in the Kyangwali Refugee Camp in Uganda, Africa. This is where refugees from Congo (DRC), Rwanda, Burundi, and Sudan fled to escape the genocide and torture tearing their countries apart. Now complete, the project enables families to become self sustaining thereby creating a more stable living environment. Our 'Maji Ni Uzima'...Water is Life! initiative began midyear of 2010 and was completed in early spring of 2011, taking under a year from start to finish. We constructed ten hand dug wells in ten different communities to insure this basic need reached thousands. Fresh, clean water for drinking, cooking, and bathing is every human being's right and we are grateful for the opportunity to help. Our smaller Aid & Comfort project is ongoing, as needed to incoming orphaned children arriving alone in camp, by filling simple but life sustaining everyday needs, something they consider a luxury. There are no borders to a child needing love and care.

As a small foundation representing a need so socially distasteful, funding is always a struggle. We are proud of our motto: "Over-worked and never paid!" as our staff is on a volunteer only basis. This allows the contributions we receive to go further. We are deeply committed to always having support available when a need arises. We never want to have to turn down a mother in crisis or say no to any child so desperate they are forced to reach out for our help. Their overwhelming courage drives us on. It is because of the annual gifts we receive that we are able to help...one child at a time.

We want to continue to share our love for Cody with children who have known little...or none.