Perpetual Pain - Berkeley Township Couple Still Mourns The Day Their Daughter Never Came Home On 9/11

Six days after Sept. 11, 2001, Tom and Joann Meehan of Berkeley Township got the call they had been dreading.

It was the New York City Medical Examiner's Office. They were calling to say that some of their daughter's remains had been recovered from Ground Zero. Chances are, newly married Colleen Anne Meehan Barkow was not conscious when the North Tower collapsed and plunged to the ground. She died of smoke inhalation.

The Meehans were given her autopsy report and photos of what was left of their daughter's body. It wasn't much. Only her torso was recovered.

The Meehans have never looked at the report or the pictures, which are stored in a safe deposit box at a local bank. And they never will.

"We couldn't bring ourselves to do it," Joann said.

Colleen's husband - as next of kin - had her remains cremated. Her ashes are buried in the mausoleum section of St. Joseph's Cemetery in Toms River.

Colleen worked as a facilities director for Cantor Fitzgerald, on the 103rd floor in the World Trade Center. The Meehan's first hint that something was not right on Sept. 11 came when the principal of the Carteret school where Joann worked came into her classroom and asked to see her outside.

"I know your daughter works at Cantor Fitzgerald," she told Joann. "Go home and try and call her. Then you can come back."

But on her frenzied way home, Joann realized Colleen probably was not alright. She raced through the front door, screaming.

Tom was waiting. There was no phone or cable service, because Carteret's cellular services were in Lower Manhattan, in Building 7 of the World Trade Center.

A neighbor lugged an ancient portable television with "rabbit ear" antennas to their house. They plugged it in and saw the towers fall, again and again. And then they knew. Colleen was not coming back.

This was not the first time Tom and Joann lost a child. An infant son died shortly after birth. Their only surviving child, Daryl, is in his 40s. He and his wife have three young daughters. They know all about the aunt they never knew.

The Holiday Heights family has stayed involved in the 9/11 community. Both Daryl and Joann read names of survivors at the memorial services in New York. Tom still has trouble sleeping and often writes letters late at night about policies and decisions made by officials of the National September 11 Memorial and Museum.

Seven stories down, at bedrock, victims' unidentified remains are stored in individual lockers in an area known as the Repository. They will stay there forever, or until the New York City Medical Examiner's Office is able to identify them. Only family members are admitted to this area.

Tom thinks they should gave been stored at ground level. And it pains Joann to think that some of Colleen's remains are in one of the lockers.

The Meehans were instrumental in obtaining a piece of steel from one of the Twin Towers for Berkeley back in 2011. It is now part of the 9/11 Memorial at Veterans Park.

Most of the time, they make they make the long trip from their Holiday Heights home in Berkeley Township to Lower Manhattan each Sept. 11. But 15 years of living since they lost their daughter have taken their toll. Tom has had three small strokes and lost some of his hearing. But they carry on, for Colleen.

"Who speaks for the dead, if it isn't the parents?" Tom said. "How do you keep the memory alive?"

Each of them wears an identical sterling silver bracelet with only their daughter's name inscribed on it and three letters - "WTC."

by Patricia A. Miller

Image: Thomas Meehan. A man who tried to photograph as many items as possible after 9/11 sent the Meehans a photo of Colleen's business car he found in Lower Manhattan.