Chatham Mom Asks Community If Her Son Is Safe. Hundreds Respond.

CHATHAM, NJ — The events surrounding the death of George Floyd in police custody set off a firestorm of protests around the world. Closer to home, it sparked fear in heart of Zandie Sutton, who took to social media to express her concerns as a black family living in a predominately white community.

"My black son is a freshman in Chatham High School, we moved here last summer for the school, but I’ve been wondering lately if we made the right decision because of lack of diversity. It is said that chances of being profiled by racists and police for young black males are higher in less diverse towns," Sutton said in a post on the Chatham Borough Facebook page. "I am scared for my 15 year old son every time he walks out with his friends to hang out on Main Street. I worry about him being singled out amongst his friends, mostly white, and profiled. I worry about him walking back home alone when it’s almost dark outside being profiled. I am wondering is my son safe in Chatham? Is my family safe in Chatham? Will you stand with us?"

The responses were swift, and overwhelming.

"I learned that this community is full of caring, compassionate people who both care about the community and who care about what others think about the community," Sutton said. "I appreciate that the Mayor, City Council members, civic leaders and neighbors replied in such a kind and positive way. This truly is a remarkable community, and feel much more confident that my son is safe in this community."

Dozens upon dozens of neighbors reached out to say welcome, including Chatham Councilwoman Jocelyn Mathiasen, who offered to connect her to the police chief.

Chatham Borough police Sgt. Wayne Shivers did one better.

"Please stop down the Chatham Borough Police Dept., we would love to meet you and your son. During these difficult times, your concerns are completely warranted, but rest assured, we are all one family here in Chatham Borough," Shivers wrote. "Dialogue during these stressful times is extremely important. If there’s anything I can personally do to help, please reach out to me directly/ The Chatham Borough Police Department stands with you."

Sutton said that she was stunned at how personal the responses were as neighbors who they haven’t met reached out to let the know that they’re here. Parent’s of their son’s friends reached out to let them know that their children are friends with their son. And community and business leaders reached out with invitations to learn more or even participate in their groups

"I learned that diverse perspectives, although not African American, are already represented here, and that more diverse voices are welcome," she said.

Councilman Len Resto was one who shared his personal story.

"I am an openly gay, Puerto Rican man of brown color who is 67 years young and moved to Chatham in 1995, attracted by its small town charm. Initially, I wondered if I would be accepted. My fears were unfounded. All my neighbors welcomed me with open arms and made me feel welcome. I was not judged by the color of my skin or my ethnicity or sexual orientation; rather, by the content of my character. For eight years, we had an openly gay African-American Mayor who served two terms with me serving as Council President an openly gay Puerto Rican," Resto said. "I believe you will find Chatham to be the right place for you and your family. We treat each other as family, and we stand up for our residents."

Sutton said that her son loves video games and music, and is kind, compassionate and funny and the recently it has been difficult to watch if you’re a parent of any kind, and even more difficult if you’re a parent of a black child.

"Coverage of BLM protests has opened old wounds, and made me realize even more how vulnerable he is should his actions or intentions be misunderstood," she told Patch. "I should probably explain that even though he is only 15, he is a solid 6'3” with dreadlocks and a passion for hoodies. He’s incredibly gentle, but he fits into a stereotype reminiscent of Trayvon Martin and Tamir Rice. He could be identified by anyone with insecurities or prejudices towards what our President recently called 'thugs' could mistake him for one."

Sutton noted that experiencing life as a black woman with a black son living in a community that doesn’t have a lot of diversity, it’s easy to doubt that the community understands the power of white privilege, or maybe better said, the vulnerability that those without white privilege can feel.

"My post was really a summation of my grief and fears, and maybe even a plea for help — I needed to know how safe my son is in our community, and posting my question to the community directly was the best way that I could think of to accomplish that," she said.

Natalie Calder wrote that her family is multicultural and multi-ethnic and has lived in Chatham eight years.

"We have actually made some very dear friends here in Chatham. We have three children, and the two older ones have graduated CHS. While Chatham is not diverse, we have felt quite safe here thus far," she said. "Please reach out whenever you want."

The overwhelming message from all corners of the community was welcome, acceptance and support.

'Apartheid Era End'

Sutton was born in South Africa and came of age there as the apartheid era wound down with the release of Nelson Mandela and his eventual election as president.

"My family was deeply involved in the liberation movement, and one of my close family members was incarcerated on Robben Island for 10 years," Sutton said. "Once Mandela was released, ANC leadership connected with activists from the Southerner Christian Leadership Conference and they sent advisors to help with the first democratic election in 1994, and we became close family friends with the Reverend James Orange."

That relationship blossomed into the SCLC sponsoring Sutton to attend theology classes in the United Sates.

"I’ve always been deeply interested in how traditional African spiritual beliefs and Christianity co-exist and the tensions and similarities between them," she said. "My theological training was done in New Orleans, and while I was there I met my husband, Jeff, and I made a decision to remain in New Orleans with him. We had our son there, and due to the devastation from Hurricane Katrina, we moved back to South Africa together for five years."

After stops in New Orleans, the family ended up in Jersey City; and then, after an exhaustive search for the best school for their son, they settled on Chatham.

"We admire the commitment the Chatham community has made to excellence in education, and as we learned more about Chatham we were awestruck by how functional and livable Chatham is as a community," she said. "It’s been 10 months now, three of them under coronavirus, and our admiration for the community and the school continues to grow. The high school has been magnificent as they transitioned to homeschooling, they overcame many challenges and continue to provide personalized learning under difficult circumstances — the staff is dedicated, committed and compassionate, and we’re deeply grateful."

And while Sutton has high praise for her community and its positive responses, she also said she was surprised by how many acknowledged or even volunteered that Chatham has a deserved reputation for having made it difficult for certain racial, ethnic or cultural groups to settle here in the past.

"It was an acknowledgment of pain, and a commitment to progress," she said.

Sutton said she wasn’t sure what she felt when she made the post — she just had questions and fears.

"As a black mother I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust completely, but after interacting with so many in this community the last few days, I am assured that this community is strong and compassionate," she said.

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