Students Gather to Mourn Marzano

More than 200 students came out to Brewer Gym tonight, packing the bleachers and spilling onto the floor, to celebrate the life and mourn the loss of their classmate and friend Nicole Marzano.

"We wanted to give the students a space to gather together and be together," said Clark Mayor Sal Bonaccorso. "Especially since many of them were away at college and came home."

The mayor spoke to the students saying he empathized with them as he had lost several classmates during his high school years. "I've been where you are," he said. "We are all here in this room to be with you and to talk with you. And we will continue to be here for you."

Arthur L. Johnson Principal Rick Delmonaco also spoke to the students. "None of us is going to sit here and say tomorrow or Saturday is going to be easy, because it's not," said Delmonaco. "It's going to be very difficult. But we're here to express our emotions and we're going to stay strong together as a family. That's what Nicole wants." 

Delmonaco continued, explaining why parents and others were not invited.  "There's a reason no other adults are here," he said. "It's about you. We're all here to support you."

Administrators also invited Father Michael Saporito, the pastor at St. Helen's Church in Westfield where Marzano and her family were members,

"Nicole was a person that motivated us," said Saporito. "Look around this room at what one person brought together."

Delmonaco reminded students that they should not let Marzano's death stop them from living. "You have to go on from this," said Delmonaco. "Whether it's back to high school with us or back to college, you have to go on from this."

And even amidst the somber gathering were moments of laughter. One came when Delmonaco joked, "I hate to do this to you because I know you're in pain already, but I have to let Mrs. Gialanella talk."

Guidance Director Colleen Gialanella explained that students would have the opportunity to sign a mural and write down their favorite memories of Marzano on cards that would be given to her family. Students also watched a student-made video slideshow of photos of Marzano, set to Lee Ann Womack's "I Hope You Dance," which elicited an outpouring a emotion from many. Gialanella also explained that a grief counselor from the Traumatic Loss Coalition was available to students.

Patch asked Father Saporito for his advice to parents of grieving children.

"First of all, let them talk about it," said Saporito. "Then try to make it as positive as possible. How children deal with death the first time they experience it sets the tone for how they will deal with it for the rest of their lives."

Saporito also encourages parents to tell their children that no feeling is a bad feeling or wrong feeling. "Some are overcome, some are angry – it's a tragedy," he said. "But every single bit of what they feel is fine."

Saporito's last bit of advice was about allowing students to then express their feelings somehow, pointing to the mural and cards available to students tonight as good examples.

He further suggests that parents pay attention as time goes on that their children resume the activities they always did and that they are eating, sleeping and socializing.

Saporito also gave Patch a message for the students.

"Someone's life can be inspirational," he said. "Although we think of Nicole's life as being short, look at the high standards she set for herself and let that give you something to inspire you. She had a way of being kind and connecting to others.

But mostly importantly, according to Saporito, was to remember that all is not lost. "If you've been blessed by Nicole's friendship, that will always be there," he said. "Death can't take that away."