Teaching Kids Why We Should Remember 9/11

A handful were in New York City that day, thousands had family members and friends there, and the rest watched the events unfold on their television screens. Sept. 11, 2001 is a day that left an imprint on the life of every single American back in 2001. The subject is still tender and the towers have not yet been rebuilt. Ten years later, it hasn’t gotten any easier.

“Through adversity, through difficult times, you can always come out of it and rise above,” says Justin McKeon, a local Cranford resident. McKeon, like all residents, believes that everyone can “rise above” that day, and many feel one of the best ways to do so is by educating children about what unfolded on that clear Tuesday morning a decade ago.

Ten years also brought a score of new Americans that have inherited the legacy of that day, surely compounding the challenges of growing up; but the residents of Cranford are also parents, and 9/11 is as standard a topic of conversation today as dating and driving.

“We just teach them love,” Mary Salas says about her approach, which is indicative of what all Cranford parents want their kids to understand, first and foremost.

The approach in explaining 9/11 is also one of truth. Parents want their kids to understand what happened.

“The best approach was certainly honesty; the facts as they are, as they were reported, telling my children — who are still quite young —that we were attacked that day,” McKeon said.

Like McKeon, Jennifer DeLong and Joe Baiada see honesty as the best approach in educating their children about 9/11, but also like Salas, with the love a parent has for a child.

“We tend to tell the simple truth, but certainly without trying to scare kids, obviously with concerns of things like that happening again,” DeLong said.

The biggest issue in being honest is the age because perspectives can vary with it. Every parent struggles to find the balance between truth, and the cold hard truth. “It definitely is a challenging thing to talk to kids about, especially kids that were very young and wouldn’t remember it. We try to explain it in the right level for them, but also trying to talk about the significance of the day,” DeLong added.

The significance of 9/11 comes in a variety of topics, one being the identity of the people who perpetrated the atrocities of that day.

“First of all, they are not the rule, they’re the exception. They’re not what Muslims stand for. They’re what fundamentalists are and what extremists are. And they (the kids) need to understand what those are,” Baiada said.

McKeon has a similar viewpoint. “And while these individuals who committed this act are absolutely heinous and criminal from my perspective, it doesn’t mean every Muslim is a murderer; and every Muslim doesn’t feel the way they do. So certainly there has to be an
appreciation and tolerance for that culture, and hopefully I can educate my children to have that,” McKeon said.

Honesty in divulging information to their children about that day is unanimously expressed by the parents of Cranford—but just how much? “It depends on the parent,” Salas said.

In a poll where 50 Cranford parents were questioned, all had very different ages they felt comfortable with, but one thing was constant: honesty based on how age-appropriate the content was.

“I think age is important. The concepts and understanding some of the more complexities of it, I think as they progress you give them more information, kind of the same way we were taught in school. You get the general picture and then you go into more detail,” Baiada says.

Regardless of when parents feel it is necessary to have the talk about 9/11, one aspect of the lives of children today is evident to most Cranford parents: security.

“When she grows up and goes to get on a plane, she’s going to have to wait an hour and a half to get through a security line. Life will
always be different. For them, they’ll have to understand that there’s a level of danger even here,” Baiada says.

Security being the most prevalent answer, other parents also spoke about how the children of today must have a global perspective on the world and come to cope with a greater restriction of freedoms as a result of the security concerns.

In the 10 years since 9/11 it hasn’t gotten any easier, and the children of America have a daunting task ahead of them in dealing with the changes that impact their everyday lives as a result of the attacks; but Cranford parents speak proudly of the legacy of that day, and
know their children will inherit the honest and loving message that comes from it.

“Remembering the thousands of people who lost their lives and the impact on the families, impact on the city, and the country, I remember back to how the country pulled together and patriotism was reborn. I’m hoping that’s what the legacy is - to remember what a great country this is and our freedoms here,” DeLong said.

“That was one of the first days that I can remember that everyone was proud to be an American and remembered what it was to be an American. We don’t cower under adverse conditions, we rebuild, we get stronger; we let the world know who we are, what we’re about,” McKeon says.

“That our country is strong and we prevail through everything. And that we never give up no matter what happens. And we stay together all races, all religions,” Salas added.

In 10 years it may seem on the surface that very little has changed, but in the homes of Americans across the country, much has improved, and as the parents of Cranford see it, always will.

Ryan DeLong, age 8, remembers 9/11 because it is the same day as his parent’s anniversary.
“There were bad people that were trying to destroy our country, basically, It was sad,” said Ryan, whose mother, Jennifer stressed the importance of finding a balance when teaching kids about the attacks. 

“It definitely is a challenging thing to talk to kids about, especially kids that were very young and wouldn’t remember it. As they age and we try to explain it. It’s hard to find the balance of being honest and having an American’s percept on of the whole day, Jennifer DeLong said. “We try to explain it in the right level for them, but also trying to talk about the significance of the day. We tend to tell the simple truth, but certainly without trying to scare kids, obviously with concerns of things like that happening again.”

DeLong also said the issue is "very complicated."

"Different beliefs and certain people in the world thinking that our values and morals in America are wrong and bad because they have a different belief system and are taught different things about us, but it doesn’t make the majority of people who live in that part of the world bad. It’s the small group of people that believe we’re the bad ones, and it’s a hard thing to explain,” she said.

The local parent believes children seem to have different perspectives based on their ages.

“I think as they learn more about it, and as we talk more about it, as kids get older and mature, maybe start to understand, not that anyone can really understand it," she said. “Remembering the thousands of people who lost their lives and the impact on the families, impact on the city and the country, I remember back to how the country pulled together and patriotism was reborn. I’m hoping that’s what the legacy is: to remember what a great country
this is and our freedoms here.”

Justin McKeon said that in discussing 9/11 with his children, honestly is the best polcy.

"The facts as they are, as they were reported, telling my children who are still quite young, that we were attacked that day. That it was
certainly a travesty, but a day that from the ashes we grew together as a country, he said. “For me, honesty is the best approach, but without going into the details of what exactly happened at the Wprld Trade Center; but just the honesty that an attack did occur. People did suffer that day, people did die that day, and with the sadness, the country came back stronger, I feel.”

McKeon said that a big part of explaining the 9/11 attacks involves being truthful and developing a sense of trust with his children.

"They should always trust me to be honest with them whether it’s bad
news, good news. That way they can always know to come to me whether they’re 8 years old, 10 years old, 20 years old; that they can come to me and know that I’ll have an honest opinion. I certainly would encourage my kids to feel comfortable to ask me those questions, knowing they’ll get an honest response, he said.”

Of the terrorists, McKeon said, “They were of Muslim descent, they were in the United States when they committed this act, so at least they have an understanding of different religions, different cultures, and for me there’s an enormous lesson that comes out of this and that’s about understanding different cultures, different sensitivities to those cultures and having an appreciation of it. And while these individuals who committed this act are absolutely heinous and
criminal from my perspective, but it doesn’t mean every Muslim is a murderer and every Muslim doesn’t feel the way they do. So certainly there has to be an appreciation and tolerance for that culture, and hopefully I can educate my children to have that.”

McKeon pointed out that the world we live in today, as a result of the attacks, has changed and made it necessary for Americans to have an appreciation for all cultures.

“It’s not just a matter of growing up in a small town anymore, but realizing that there’s a bigger world that we’re a part of. And having an appreciation of different cultures, different sensitivities to those cultures, and realize while America is certainly the leader in the world, to be successful you have to have an appreciation and sensitivity to those other cultures. So I hope there is a global element to children
and seeing beyond the nice streets of Cranford and having an appreciation of all those cultures, he said, adding that religious tolerance is also important. “So hopefully the children, my children, will build that globalization, have that religious tolerance, and lead a balanced life with an appreciation of the global world we live in.”

McKeon used to live in Hoboken. He watched the Twin Towers fall and now sees the anniversary of 9/11 as a day of "reverence and respect for the people who gave their lives that day."

“I literally watched the Twin Towers crumble," he said. “We don’t
cower under adverse conditions, that we rebuild, we get stronger, we let the world know who we are, what we’re about. Through adversity, through difficult times, you can always come out of it and rise above.”

Mary Salas was a junior in high school when the 9/11 terrorist attacks occurred. Her parents have told her that it's important to forgive those who attacked our nation.

“As (children) get older and it’s in their history books, and they read about, you just learn to not have hatred,” said Salas, adding that educating children about the attacks should also involve teaching them love. “With any topic, we just teach them love. We try not bringing out the evil or bad in people. As they get older the truth will come out.”

Joe Baiada said when teaching children about 9/11, parents should take age into consideration.

“I think age is important. The concepts and understanding some of the more complexities of it. So I think as they progress you give them more information, kind of the same way we were taught in school. You get the general picture and then you go into more detail,” he said.

Baiada also spoke about the terrorists, saying that "they are not the rule, they’re the exception. They’re not what Muslims stand for. They’re what fundamentalists are, and what extremists are. And they need to understand what those are. I went to school, I lived with kids who were Muslim. That’s not what they do. They’re just like everybody else.”

As the 10th anniversary of the attacks approaches, Baiaida poined out that most people in our area either know someone who died in the attacks or know of people whose lives were affacted.

"Everyone knows some who died, or someone touched by it. Even today people are still dying from it. One, we were caught by surprise because we thought we were untouchable; two, we continue to make the same mistakes; the government’s still fumbling the ball with helping the people over there and turning a blind eye to certain things.”