A Unique Middletown, Holmdel Love Story

Middletown, NJ - When Katie Cartier was born, her mom never imagined she'd have a boyfriend.

Then one day last year, this 17-year-old Lincroft girl, who has Down's Syndrome, walked in the house and announced she was dating someone. A young man from Holmdel. Conor Wright, 25, also has Down's Syndrome.

"When my daughter was born, I never, ever thought she would have a boyfriend. Ever. I was uneducated about people with Down's Syndrome," said Stephanie Cartier, Katie's mom. "And then when it happened, I was like, Wow!"

Katie is a senior at Middletown High School South and will turn 18 in a week. Conor graduated from Holmdel High School and works at a car wash in Matawan. They have been dating for just over a year now. They met through Family Resource Associates in Shrewsbury, which runs after-school classes for people in the area with special needs — dance classes, karate and bowling on Friday afternoons. Katie and Conor were in the same karate class and had known each other for years before they started dating.

"She didn't ask us permission, she didn't need our approval. She just said, 'This is my boyfriend,'" said Stephanie. "We had no reservations about it. It just happened very organically."

"It's just like any other relationship — they hang out, they talk every single solitary night on the phone," she continued. "But they also respect each other's privacy. They both have very similar personalities. They are both strong willed and have a great sense of humor — they make each other laugh."

Neither Katie nor Conor drives, so their parents must often ferry them on dates and chaperone. Katie is taking driver's ed courses at the high school. She's also on the Middletown South swim team and competes with the NJ Special Olympics Hazlet Torpedoes. Conor is an avid Green Bay Packers fan.

"Don't get me wrong. They fight. They are just like a typical couple ... She'd love to get married one day. She and Conor do talk about getting married," said Stephanie. "But she also wants to go to college, she wants to live on her own and get a job. She's only 18. I tell her, 'Oh Katie, I talked about getting married when I was in high school, too.'"

Katie can stay at Middletown South until she's 21. But there are 233 college programs in the nation created for students with intellectual disabilities, including programs at Brookdale Community College and TCNJ. This fall, Katie and her parents will travel around the country looking at college programs, including one at The College of Charleston in South Carolina.

When asked if she thinks Katie can live on her own one day, Stephanie hesitated. "I think she could do it with a lot of support ... let me say this: It's my hope that she could and I know it's her's, too. I know she would love her own apartment one day."

She pointed to the OnMyOwnFoundation.org, which was started by four Middletown men who have special-needs children, and who want to provide resources to enable special-needs adults to live on their own.

This past June, Conor accompanied Katie to the Middletown South junior prom. It was their prom photo that Stephanie submitted to the National Down's Syndrome Society. That picture was selected to be featured in Times Square this past Saturday. Katie, Conor and her family went up to see the photo and then to Central Park afterwards, for the National Downs Syndrome Buddy Walk, where 2,500 people walked.

"When they were walking around New York the other day with their arms around each other, I just thought, 'Wow, this is so cool,'" Stephanie said. "I never thought I would see that with her. They are so happy being with each other."