A Split in Holmdel's Youth Football Organization Forces Parents and Players to Choose Sides

The current schism in the youth football community in Holmdel is either a positive development -- because it provides more choice for parents and players -- or it’s a negative development, because it is tearing apart the fabric of youth football in a small town.

Depends on who you ask.

One thing that is for sure, the split between Pop Warner and the new American Youth Football & Cheer program has become an emotional issue. It has strained relationships with parents who are good friends, pitting the past against the future, and forcing kids to potentially choose between playing with their friends or playing in a league their parents may think is better for them.

“What the (Pop Warner faction) has done has driven a wedge in the community,’’ said Holmdel AYF President Mike Tedeschi, the head of the 37-year-old Holmdel Football Association, which voted to make the switch from Pop Warner to AYF. “They're saying it's choice. It's splitting a small town.’’

“We basically created a platform for parents who are interested in still having their kids play in Pop Warner,’’ said Andy Graw, the new president of Holmdel Pop Warner.

On March 1, 28 of the 36 town organizations in Jersey Shore Pop Warner voted to join AYF, ending a 50-year alliance between the Jersey Shore Pop Warner League and the national Pop Warner organization. Meanwhile, five other towns/programs – Manasquan, Freehold, Rumson, Fair Haven, Monmouth – allied to form the new Jersey Shore Pop Warner Conference, declining to make the move to AYF.

Soon after, groups in Howell, Point Pleasant and Holmdel, which already had factions that made the switch to AYF, emerged and stayed with Pop Warner, dividing towns and forcing players and their families to choose.

Both sides in Holmdel admit there is no perfect organization. However, with issues like weight allowance, trips to Disney for the national championships, preserving local rivalries, practice time, start dates, flexibility in regulations and more coming to the fore, the lines have been clearly drawn between the organizations.

The majority of the players sticking with the Pop Warner group are at the junior midget (10 to 13 years old) level. As a Pee Wee (9-12) team last year, that group made it to the national championships in Florida. Graw, whose son was on that team, stepped forward to keep the Pop Warner program alive when Tedeschi’s group decided to go with AYF, but said it’s more than just a matter of keeping a potential championship team intact.

“Am I interested because of my son? Absolutely,’’ Graw said. “But there are other parents who think that Pop Warner is better suited for our kids, and this allows them to have that choice.’’

“You're worried about your kid only,’’ Tedeschi said. “I have to worry about 300 kids, not just my kid. It's a shame. I don't think they thought about the repercussions.’’

Graw intimated that the decision of the HFA to switch to AYF was secretly in the works for months and not properly discussed before it was a done deal.

“Not true at all,’’ Tedeschi said. “There's been a lot of negative sentiment that has come out there. If he's saying it was done in secret, that's not the case.’’

Tedeschi’s feeling is that if it was about more than just keeping one championship team intact, why didn’t the entire group of 200 families involved in the HFA come to the meeting about switching to AYF and raise their objections rather than just the families of that particular team?

It may be as simple as one faction viewing AYF as the future and Pop Warner as the past.

“AYF started in 1996 and has 750,000 participants, while Pop Warner been around forever and has 396,000,’’ Tedeschi said. “Pop Warner’s numbers are going down, and AYF’s are going up, so that says something.’’

 Differences of Opinion

Certainly part of the issue that has created the split are the differing rules between Pop Warner and AYF and how they are viewed by families looking to have their sons play youth football.

The rules for weight allowance differ in that Pop Warner allows players to gain a pound a week, and they are weighed each week, while Graw said that AYF players have to make a certain weight at the beginning of the season and are not weighed again.

“You could have kids starve themselves to make weight in AYF, and then balloon right back up,’’ Graw said. “With Pop Warner, you can’t do that because you have to make the weight every week. That’s a huge difference.’’

“That team that has decided to deviate outside and stay with Pop Warner has completely ignored that last year they played 16 games,’’ Tedeschi said. “After Game 8, there could be a weight difference of nine pounds, and they played nearly an entire extra season with nine more pounds and not one kid got hurt. It's semantics.’’

As far as the start of the season is concerned, in Pop Warner it is mandated that it must be Aug. 1, while in AYF it can be started earlier at that program’s discretion.

“We felt the people who were touting AYF were citing safety because of an extra week of practice, and we saw it as just the opposite,’’ Graw said. “We saw that as a safety issue the other way because now you might be playing kids who have a lot more practice under their belt or maybe have even played all year round.’’

Just like Graw puts forth Pop Warner as giving families more choice, Tedeschi believes having the flexibility to not have to adhere to a rigid schedule gives players who are devoted to football the choice to play more. It also dovetails with the increased specialization in specific sports beginning at the youth levels. The Holmdel AYF program currently fields a 7-on-7 team that is playing this spring, which is not allowed under Pop Warner rules.

“The program is geared toward modern day athletics,’’ Tedeschi said. “All of these sports are going year round, like football or lacrosse or soccer.

“My 12-year-old son, he loves football so much that we were looking throughout the state at spring leagues. Now he has the benefit of the choice to go to practice and learn (by playing 7-on-7).’’

Another issue between the two groups is practice time, as Pop Warner rules limit practice time to six hours per week, while AYF allows more flexibility in that area as well. Tedeschi feels that the increased time allows for more non-contact drills and allows players to watch game film to improve without that counting as practice time. The Pop Warner contingent sees that as overkill.

“For my son and other parents' kids, we were really concerned about the time involved, and that they would have to take away from other activities and even school,’’ Graw said. “They like football but it's not their entire life.’’

Preserving rivalries also was a consideration in the move, as Tedeschi felt that not joining the overall movement in the Jersey Shore toward AYF would eliminate many long-standing rivalries between neighboring towns that carry over until high school. The feeling was also that if the HFA didn’t make the move to AYF and join the majority of Shore towns that did, that might leave them searching for opponents and paying increased travel costs to play teams from out of the area.

“We’ve cultivated 37 years of fun, but competitive rivalries, and we don’t want to lose that,’’ Tedeschi said. “If we didn’t go (with AYF), where would that leave us?’’

With traditional powers like Manasquan and Asbury Park still participating in Pop Warner, Graw doesn’t see a loss in rivalries being an issue.

“The biggest competition year after year is Asbury Park,’’ Graw said. “You can’t say you’ve won the Jersey Shore without beating Asbury Park every year.’’

Much of the difference comes down to the overall flexibility of AYF for Tedeschi and the group of families that have made the switch from Pop Warner.

“The other consideration myself and the other (HFA) board members had was the archaic system that Pop Warner currently has,’’ Tedeschi said. “It's tough to listen to some guy getting paid 150 grand to sit in an office in Pennsylvania and tell you that the rules in California should be the same in New Jersey. If we felt that something was important to be changed for the safety of the kids, it would take two years to get to (Pop Warner executive director) John Butler, and then it gets vetoed.

“(With AYF), we have a minimum standard to adhere to and then can do some things at our own discretion, and with Pop Warner, you are not afforded that luxury.’’

Another example of that in Tedeschi’s eyes is rosters.

“In Pop Warner, you need a roster of 16 kids to play a game, and if one kid gets hurt, you forfeit a game,’’ Tedeschi said. “In AYF, I’m OK to roster 16 kids and if kids get hurt or quit the team, I can get down to 12 kids, which still allows them to play. Also, last year, we had 32 junior Pee Wees sign up, and (under AYF) I could’ve done two teams of 16 and had a 3-to-1 player-to-coach ratio with more one-on-one instruction time, but you really need to have 20 to 23 kids on a Pop Warner team because of the roster rules.’’

Graw said he understands some of the issues with Pop Warner that can be a problem, but added he would “rather try to make the changes from within the system.’’

The National Championships

Another sticking point in the differences between the rival leagues involves the national championships down at Disney World in Florida. AYF and Pop Warner both have their national championships at Disney every year, but the process of getting there and then the flexibility allowed in travel arrangements are two main differences.

The Pop Warner side feels that making a move to AYF makes it easier to qualify for the national championships and go to Florida because of AYF’s playoff system, while it is a more hard-earned accomplishment on the Pop Warner side.

“It was being set up so that it was easier to go to Florida,’’ Graw said. “Having been there, I don't think people are looking to go to Florida every year. It's got to be something you really got to earn. What good is it if you know you're going to Florida at the end of every year? It’s also a lot of money to go down there.’’

“The misconception is that we're doing this to make it easy to get to Florida,’’ Tedeschi said. “It's not about getting to Disney. That's living your life through your child. It’s about teaching life skills and then if you are able to achieve getting to Disney, then it’s something you worked for.’’

On the other side, teams that go to Florida under Pop Warner are required to stay in the Disney complex rather than having the freedom to stay in a hotel of any price in the surrounding area. AYF does not have that restriction, which Tedeschi said gives his parents the flexibility to stay where they want for the price they want.

Competition for Players, Resources

In a small town that Tedeschi said has about 300 kids participating in youth football and cheerleading, the question remains whether there are enough players to go around to sustain two different football programs. A split right down the middle could mean that nobody wins in the end.

“What are you going to do when you get 12 kids and I get 12 kids at one level?’’ Tedeschi said. “Then nobody is playing.’’

Both sides have tried to get the word out about their respective programs, posting letters to the editor here on Holmdel Patch and setting up booths at the recent community day in Holmdel. Still, both sides feel some mixed signals have been sent that have resulted in confusion and anger from each side.

“I would say that people who have signed up with AYF, I think some of them are even thinking that they've signed up with Pop Warner,’’ Graw said. “I mean that, honestly.’’

Graw said that signs were put up around town by the HFA that spread misinformation about Pop Warner and that he sent a letter to Tedeschi to have them taken down.

“On the sign, they say that AYF was a successor to Pop Warner,’’ Graw said. “That is absolutely not the truth. I asked them to take them down and set the record straight, and they never did. Those signs have stayed up for two months.’’

Graw added that signs put up by Pop Warner at the Community Day celebration were “mysteriously taken down’’ and that “there has been some funny business.’’

“They (the Pop Warner faction) sent a letter threatening legal action against me,’’ Tedeschi said. “I will tell you, I’ve done nothing but gone out of my way to tell them, ‘Good luck in your endeavor, and whatever you think for your child is right.’ They have stated mistruth and slander.’’

The race for players has fostered everything from accusations of recruiting players from towns without youth football programs to fill rosters to instances of peer pressure in which players are picked on by friends until they decide to side with a certain team to parents admitting to Graw and Tedeschi that they aren’t in favor of a specific league but want their son to be with his friends and be happy. Both sides have accused the other of touting their option as the best while saying they have not done so.

In addition, there is also the logistical issue of field use for practices and games. The fields are controlled by the township's school district, which will have to figure out how to accommodate both sides with games on Saturdays and Sundays in the fall.

“There's no way that one or the other takes up the fields for the entire weekend,’’ Graw said. “There should be enough to go around.’’

“You need fields and places to play, and I'm not blocking anyone from anything,’’ Tedeschi said about any accusations of trying to make it difficult for Pop Warner to secure field usage. “Every year I secure my game fields, my practice fields, and my insurance, just like I’ve always done. I’m not blocking anyone from anything, and the town controls that anyway.’’

Another issue involves which side gets to use the existing football equipment, and it looks like it most likely will be AYF.

“The equipment belongs to HFA, so I think it would be irresponsible to hand out a helmet to their kids before taking care of ours,’’ Tedeschi said.

Graw said that the Pop Warner group may resolve the issue by receiving a grant from the national Pop Warner organization to pay for equipment.

Going Forward

The next two years may tell the story of which group will survive and if Pop Warner in Holmdel can continue to exist once the primary team that it is fielding at the junior midget level moves on to high school.

Both sides stressed that this is still just youth football and not life and death, and that the decision is ultimately up to the parents of each individual player or cheerleader. However, it’s clear that a dividing line has been drawn.

“(The HFA) has been here for 37 years,’’ Tedeschi said. “And we'll remain here for the next hundred.’’

“We did our due diligence in talking to people in towns that have switched to AYF, and we feel that Pop Warner is the best choice for our kids right now,’’ Graw said.

As for now, neither side is going anywhere, so the parents of youth football players and cheerleaders will be forced to make a decision that did not exist until this year. One thing that can be agreed upon by both sides is that when kids are involved, those decisions are never easy.

“People take this stuff seriously,’’ Graw said. “They get very emotional about youth football.’’