Mental Illness as a Catastrophic Event?

Those families that have not been touched by mental illness may simply not understand what an impact it has on those that are affected.  As opposed to an illness such as cancer, diabetes or even a broken leg, mental illnesses/brain disorders and those that live with them are often labeled with a very negative stigma.  Parents are often blamed for inexplicable behavior by their children;children are labeled as lazy and non-compliant if they "can't" do their homework or behave as expected on play dates; adults are labeled as "crazy" or "pms-ing" when their mood shifts on a dime.  

So what do most people on the outside do? They walk away.  They're not sure what to do so they do nothing.  There are not cassaroles made for the family.  There are no offers of transportation to doctor's appoinments or hospitals where there children are.  There is very little of what the family needs most-support, understanding and love.  Rather than getting help, parents of children with mental illness typically receive accusations.  Rather than understanding that parents often lose their jobs or are forced to quit to provide the necessary care for their children, they're called crazy or are even told that "that's what they deserve for not raising their children properly".

In his book Helping Traumatized Families, Charles Figley defines a "catastrophic stressor" as follows:

• It is generally an unanticipated event.
• There is little time to prepare for it.
• One has little previous experience and few sources of guidance.
• It has a huge emotional wallop.
• It involves threat or danger to self or others.

Families agree that this definition covers the catastrophic event of an episode of mental illness and that the initial "break" creates a havoc of acute panic, fear and disbelief.

The events that took place on September 11, 2001 are probably the most well-known mass traumatic experience in our country.  We use that example to help you quickly think back to your reactions to those events.  You very likely felt shock, fear, denial ("I can't believe this is really happening"), a knot in your stomach and tears that wouldn't stop.  At some point, days, weeks or months later, you realized that your feelings were not as "raw"  as they had been.  Psychologists who specialize in emotional responses to trauma emphasized that after experiencing a traumatic event, each person must find a "new normal".  The theory being that after experiencing an event of this magnitude things never go back to the way they were, but they can be good again.  It's not the same "normal" as before the event, they can be normal (or typical again) -- just different.

Taking the perspective that the realization our child has a brain disorder is a tramatic event that is just as disruptive in our lives as 9/11 was for our country, will hopefully shed some light and understanding about your own predictable reactions to that trauma.  It will also hopefully help those that are not in families touched by mental illness to understand the magnitude of effect the illness has on the entire family.