Letter: Anger, Fear Won't Aid Healing of 9/11 Tragedies

Dear Editor,

Part of my purpose for being here is to speak my truth, as is all of ours. Please know that what I’m about to share is not intended to make anyone “wrong,” but rather to share a perspective that may have not been seen or considered before now.

All of us can remember where we were and what we were doing on 9/11/2001. For me, I was at work at Hackettstown Hospital, and beginning to celebrate my birthday. Yes....9/11 is my birthday. I was bringing a patient back out to the waiting room when someone said something about a plane hitting one of the towers. She said it in such a way that I didn’t understand the severity of what was happening. It wasn’t until I got out to the waiting room and saw the TV that it hit me. The rest of my day is really unimportant to the story, but as I’m sure you can imagine, celebrating was now at the bottom of my list.

For the next couple years, I felt guilty about celebrating my birthday. I did some reading and realized that I was experiencing something called survivor’s guilt. Even though I wasn’t in the city that day, I was close enough. On the third anniversary of 9/11 (2004), I decided it was time to go do something. A friend and I were going to go dancing. So, after milk and cake with my kids, we hopped in the car and were on our way. Not ten miles from my house, we were hit head-on by another car at 55mph. About 60 seconds prior to the impact, I almost felt a tap on my shoulder and it brought my attention to the fact that I had forgotten to put my seat belt on. Needless to say, if I had not put it on, I would most likely not be here to write this. Although I sustained many broken bones and other injuries, I literally walked away from the pile of metal that was once two vehicles.

After that experience, I realized that in not celebrating my life, I was actually doing a disservice to those that had lost theirs on that fateful day. I’ve also come to see that looking at photos from that day just keeps replaying the fear, anger, and despair - and none of those things honor those we lost either. My point to all of this? We will never forget what happened and those we lost, but I truly feel we hinder our healing if we continue to focus on the loss. Healing doesn’t mean that the event wasn’t a tragedy. It doesn’t mean we don’t miss those no longer with us. It doesn’t mean that we no longer honor all those lives. Healing means the opposite of all of that. It means that we are moving forward and living our lives because we’re still here. It means coming together and being grateful for each and every day.

So, I’m asking that you’re mindful of how you remember this day. I’m asking that you consider if your words and/or posts are supporting healing, or promoting fear and anger. Our world needs healing - it needs forgiveness - it needs love - it needs celebrating. For today, my birthday and another day of life for anyone not having their birthday, celebrate! Together we can make a difference and we can heal this planet.

Sincerely, 
Angel Cady
Long Valley