Operation Eliminate Fat Can

The time has come. I can no longer excuse the tire around my midsection as "the weight I gained with the last baby." The baby is six. Six years, not months. It's not cute. I am on an urgent mission to lose the tire and reduce the size of my ever-increasing posterior.

It needs to be gone by early spring 2012. Why then? Because my high school reunion is this spring. Nearly 20 years have passed since I graduated Teaneck High School. Back then, I was skinny. Super skinny. "Does she have an eating disorder?" skinny. Now, it is another story entirely.

Yes, before you veteran weight-loss gurus judge me, I am aware that I am not supposed to lose weight and get in shape for a specific event. All the diet books I have read say that I have to want to lose weight for myself and definitely not on a timetable. Well, that's a lovely concept but this is an emergency.

You may be thinking, why blog about this? Yes, it could in fact be humiliating. Not could be, will be. When it comes to food, especially dessert and breads, I have no willpower. I need the public shaming that a blog can bring. I have tried and failed to lose weight and stick with an exercise regimen over the past few years.

It is time to bring out the big guns. It is time for Operation Eliminate Fat Can.

I've been told that keeping a journal of what I am currently eating will be illuminating and a great motivator for change. Here's what I ate yesterday:

8 oz. glass of orange juice

2 cups of coffee with Splenda (Okay, they were really big cups of coffee with Lactaid in them.)

Two croissants

Two slices of pot roast and egg noodles (It was not a light lunch. But I was using my leftovers!)

Tostitos Hint of Lime Chips (I refuse to note how many I ate, it is none of your beeswax.)

One croissant (Yes, three croissants in one day is a little excessive, I get it.)

Snapple (Sadly it is 150 calories per bottle--why are they putting it so big on their label? To shame me?)

Slice of cake (I didn't eat dinner and there was free cake at the Girl Scout leader meeting. Sue me.)

Cupcake Chardonnay (Yum.)

1/3 of a loaf of Ciabatta bread (I was supposed to serve it with pasta for dinner but since I ran out of time to make dinner before my meeting, I snacked on the loaf when I got home. Oops.)

Okay, clearly there is room for improvement here. Major room. Enough room to drive a truck through.

Perhaps the record of my physical activity for the day will improve things:

Walk to and from the school to drop the kids off (two blocks each way)

Walk to and from the school to pick the kids up (two blocks each way)

Hmmm, certainly not an epic level of exercise. I'm not even sure if I burned even one of the croissants off.

Again, clearly room for improvement. I can only go up from here.

Now for an epic level of shaming.

My current weight: 174 pounds.

Ouch, that hurts. Recommended weight for someone my height and age? 145 pounds. I've got a lot of work to do.

I need a few moments to wallow after weighing myself and publicly sharing that number. Then, I am really going to think about exercise. My gym actually sent me a letter saying it was time for me to renew. I haven't been in so long they had to contact me by mail. Again, lots of room for improvement.

My plan, after I consume a final croissant and stop crying over the 30 pounds I need to lose, is to eat better. Nothing more specific than that, just not to eat a dinner size portion for lunch and not to eat the contents of the Stop and Shop bakery throughout the day.

The second part of the plan is to improve the amount of exercise I am getting. I think it might be time to renew the membership at the gym and pay the painful amount for a few sessions with a trainer so that I have to go. Since I am going with the "shame as motivator" route, I will allow the trainer to bully me into showing up and completing workouts. It has to be done.

Operation Eliminate Fat Can: Day One.

Note: Look to the right of this post for several low-quality senior year photos. This is what I am shooting for. Okay, well maybe not that thin. Not sure that was healthy. But something closer to that look as opposed to what I've got going on right now. 

And yes, I did eventually learn that eyebrow wax is your friend. I didn't get the memo on that until college.

This was the inaugural post from Operation Eliminate Fat Can from Oct. 2011. Want to read more? Check out the latest posts on the website.