Divorced? 3 Ways to More Holiday Time with the Kids

The holidays are a time for gathering friends and family together. However, if you are divorced or legally separated, your scheduled parenting plan may say that this holiday, the children go to your ex-spouse. While this is an arrangement you originally agreed upon, you might find yourself wondering how you can spend more time with them.

Negotiating more time with your children may be tricky, but we have some practical solutions that we have seen work for many of our divorced and separated clients over the years. Here are our top three ways to get more time with your kids this holiday season.

1. Simply ask your ex-spouse for more time. You might be pleasantly surprised at your ex’s flexibility if you just ask. Be polite and respect their time with the children, but explain why it’s important for the kids to spend time with you as well. This kind of agreement and cooperation can open doors to a more accommodating environment in the future.
2. Suggest a special event for the children. While it may be out of your scheduled visitation time, your ex may allow time with your children for a special event. Festivals, light shows, or annual get-togethers that your children enjoy will allow you more time with them and your ex will be more inclined to welcome the idea if the event is only on for a limited time. They might even welcome a “night off” to have a holiday party of their own.
3. Use Skype and Webcam. For this to work, you and your children both will need to have access to Skype and a webcam. If you don’t have a webcam, investing in the technology might prove to be a very good way to keep in touch with your children, even outside of the holidays. With consideration of your ex-spouses household rules, this technology allows for communication on a more regular basis and is something both you and your children can do on your own.

In addition to these tips, remember there are ways to keep in touch with your children even when they are not physically in your care. For example, calling and texting, and communicating through Facebook or other social media websites are options if your children have safe access to a computer.

Although these technology supplements are not as meaningful as spending actual time with your children, it’s still important to take advantage of them as a useful alternative.

In order to successfully negotiate more time with your children, you obviously need to have a good relationship with your ex. If he or she is not open to accommodating any of your requests, and you feel that a change in parenting time is necessary, you can always elect to file a motion for modification of child custody or visitation. Additionally, if you find that your ex-spouse is withholding your scheduled time with your children, you can file an enforcement motion with the court to compel compliance.