After Losing Child To Bullying, NJ Mom To Contest BOE Elections

SOUTH BRUNSWICK, NJ — South Brunswick resident Erin Popolo is “surviving the worst loss possible.” Her daughter Emily Michaela Murillo died in an accident on Jan. 29, her death ruled a suicide. Earlier this summer, Popolo walked across the graduation stage with Emily’s ashes in hand, to collect her daughter’s high school diploma.

But she was left “disappointed” when the school district failed to acknowledge Emily at the ceremony.

Read More Here: Mom Takes Child's Ashes On Stage To Get NJ High School Diploma

Although still grieving, Popolo has decided to find healing by bringing change and “helping others.” Popolo is now running for a seat on the South Brunswick Board of Education. She hopes to “make a difference with mental health and anti-bullying.”

“My Emily fell through the cracks in multiple areas. There needs to be a change, especially coming back after a pandemic. These kids and their mental health is going to be affected,” Popolo said.

Emily was a special ed student who was bullied in school, her mother said. Her death in a car crash in Franklin Park was ruled a suicide.

“I feel very strongly about anti-bullying. I feel very strongly about mental health in the school system. I honestly think we need more counselors in schools. I think these kids need more resources from the school district,” Popolo said.

Self-described as an “extremely involved parent,” Popolo said that Emily slipped through the cracks despite “weekly therapy and monthly psychiatrists' appointments.” “I don't ever want any other parent to be put in the same situation that I'm living right now. Because it's a nightmare.”

Popolo’s platform will not only focus on anti-bullying but will bring to attention mental health issues faced by students in special ed.

Emily had Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder or ADHD, said Popolo. She was on medications that directly affected her metabolism and resulted in her gaining weight. This made her an easy target at school, said Popolo. “She had really curly hair that she couldn’t style much. She also wore braces for like three years of her life, and some students made fun of her,” said Popolo.

The high school senior struggled with her mental health, occasionally going to an inpatient program or partial hospitalization, and missing out on school.

“Kids would say things like ‘you’re mental,’ or ‘you’re in the crazy house.’ But she was doing what she could to try and help herself and try and cope with life, because life isn't easy for anybody, but was especially hard for her,” Popolo said.

Emily was in a partial hospitalization program before the pandemic hit in 2020. But word of her hospitalization soon got out, which resulted in her being further bullied at school. “That was the start of the downward spiral for Emily. Because she couldn't deal with it.” Popolo said the bullies even followed Emily to her temporary job at the local Target, making unkind remarks.

“Most days she would come home crying. She ended up losing that job because it was seasonal, and a week later she died,” said Popolo. “A lot of it had to do with her feeling like she was never going to be accepted in the world. They would come seeking her out at her job, at school. There was no safe space for her.”

Although the school district knew about the bullying, Popolo said they did nothing to address it. The bullying followed Emily even after her death. At her funeral held in February over Zoom, many of Emily’s bullies “bombed” the service, signing in as ‘Emily’s f...... corpse,’ ‘She dead as s...’

“They were there, screaming horrible things - saying she was a terrible driver, and she deserved to die. It’s unbelievable that there are people like this out there and it’s concerning,” said Popolo. Not much has moved with the investigation into the incident, said the grieving mother.

While her daughter faced the worst kind of bullying, Popolo believes that change can be made. “I firmly believe bullying starts at home. Kids are watching us – what we say, how we behave, and they learn from it.”

"So while anti-bullying programs are great in middle and high school, I think it's too late. You need to start this right out the gate – in kindergarten. Because it's a learned behavior,” said Popolo.

Bullying also stems from a lack of self-esteem and other issues, that Popolo hopes to address once elected to the Board of Education. “Look, we'll never be able to take care of every bully out there. But with the right approach and program, we can make a huge difference,” she said.

Since Emily’s death, Popolo has been spreading awareness on bullying and mental health and is involved with state-level anti-bullying organizations.

But she wasn't like this always, Popolo admits. “Emily was a handful. All of my time was spent it keeping Emily well. Now that I don’t have her, I have this time in hand. Emily is my inspiration to continue this on her behalf. And that's how I'm going to try and heal — by being an advocate for her and making sure no other family goes through what I'm going through.”

Popolo is running for the upcoming South Brunswick Board of Education election as a slate with Deepa Karthik and Jayesh Patel. Though they have their own individual platforms, Karthik and Patel are backing Popolo “100 percent because I think I could really help make a change in the school district.”

Nine candidates are vying for three open seats in the upcoming November elections. Read more here: 9 Candidates Are Vying For 3 Seats On South Brunswick BOE

Thank you for reading. Have a correction or news tip? Email sarah.salvadore@patch.com

Get breaking news alerts on your phone with our app. Download here. Sign up to get Patch emails so you don't miss out on local and statewide news