Getting The Mail

Despite my lack of enjoyment for receiving bills and various solicitations, getting the mail has always been something that I enjoy doing.  It’s strange, I know, especially since it is kind of like teasing myself to think that I will receive handwritten letters from friends and family when the reality is that my primary form of written communication these days is via email and text, not snail mail.  For eleven months of the year I am like a dog chasing it’s tail, never remembering that getting the mail is really a chore and not the fun-filled activity that I always hope it will be.

That is until December when the holiday cards start arriving.  Suddenly getting the mail is more exciting, not just for me but for my entire family.  We all enjoy looking at the pictures, reading the captions, laughing at the witty comments and reading the year-in-reviews.

There are indirect perks that occur as a result of the December mail too.  Perhaps the most enjoyable is my kids’ level of curiosity triggered by these cards.  They ask all sorts of questions about the “who, what, when, where’s” of each picture.  Sometimes these cards have multiple pictures so there are multiple sets of questions for every card.  The joyful innocence of their curiosity is truly priceless. 

Every year I receive cards from old friends, friends that I have not seen in years. The perk here lies in recalling the fond memories of my times with these people, memories that I might not have otherwise thought about.  I too send out cards to people that I have not seen in a very long time and sometimes question whether or not I want to continue doing so.  At the end of the day, I still send them because I like the opportunity to remain connected, as small of a connection as it might be, to the people with whom I have shared part of my past.

Another perk stems from telling my kids stories about the relationships I have had with the people sending these cards.  The joint effort of sharing and listening has resulted in an enjoyable way to differently connect with my kids. It is not that the stories are overly exciting but the process with which my children express interest in me and my interest in sharing my past with them is.  Who would have thought that such a heart-warming experience would occur as a result of receiving holiday cards?

Though December is almost over and the mail will inevitably resume to its normal not-so-exciting ways, I know that there are only 11 months to wait before these enjoyable perks of the past few weeks repeat again.  In the meantime, my eagerness to get the mail, despite the lack of enjoyment for its contents, will likely continue.  And if I am fortunate enough to maintain the momentum of story telling and the ever-growing curiosity of my kids, the time between now and the next holiday season will likely offer many December-like family times together. 

Best wishes for a very happy and healthy 2014!

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Lauren J. Hammer, LCSW, MS of the Westfield Counseling Center has a private psychotherapy practice in Westfield, New Jersey.  She is trained in Bowen Family Systems theory and works with individuals, couples and families.  For more information or to sign up for Perspectives, go to www.westfieldcounselingcenter.com.