Unfriending Facebook: A Local Mom's Bittersweet Breakup

In 2006, I made the leap from the original social networking site Friendster to Facebook. Facebook was still the new kid on the block. It was the site that most of my college friends used, and it seemed like the "mature" alternative to the teeny bopper sensation MySpace.

I liked that every Facebook user had to provide their real identity so you knew you were friends with Jane Doe from your European History class instead of IceQueen78. I also loved the Status Update feature, allowing me to "check in" with friends and family with little effort on my part.

I have to admit that it took me a while to post a status update. I mean, does anyone really care what I was doing at that very moment? Turns out, the answer was yes. I learned quickly that not only are people interested but they would comment. Once I figured out how to post and share photos, I never looked back.

By 2012, Facebook had become the single common thread linking me to my family and friends from neighboring towns and across continents. When I quit my full time job to raise a family, it was my lifeline to the outside world.

Then, a scary incident happened. A friend of mine had mentioned she had sent a Friend Request to me and that I had accepted it. It took me by surprise because I didn't get a notification - I am one of those people who obsessively checks their Facebook account throughout the day. When I asked if she had the right name, she described a black and white profile picture of me, my husband and son. I immediately did a search on Facebook and Google and sure enough, there was my old profile picture next to someone with the same user name. It also listed the same graduate school I attended. The account was started in 2009, just months after my son was born!!! I quickly sprung into action requesting Facebook to take down the impostor. Months went by, and the site was still active. I sent another report, and still no action. I was freaked out.

Giving Facebook the benefit of the doubt, I waited a few months for the site to be taken down. In the meantime, I continued to post and share information on my Wall like everyone else, but grew wary of the seemingly endless "updates" to make Facebook "better". When Facebook switched to Timeline, I was annoyed. Why change something that wasn't broken? It asked for my mobile phone for "added security," and I refused. I learned that I wouldn't be able to view all posts from pages I've liked, unless I created an "Interest" page. I found out that when you share a photo or tag someone in a photo, it becomes Facebook's property for others to view, share, and download.

I also started to see more and more "Sponsored Pages" and recommended links. What was disturbing is the accuracy of such ads: how does Facebook know I have a Samsung phone??? I read up on Facebook's latest Data Use Policy and came to the realization that whatever you chose to reveal to Facebook becomes Facebook's right to use for targeted adverting, new mobile apps, improved products and services, games and more: your date of birth, gender, interests, "Liked" pages, everything. Whatever information your friends make public about you (such as photos and comments) are also fair game - and beyond your control. It's like the Wild Wild West of social media. Don't believe me? Check out Facebook's Data Use Policy here.

This past week, I did what I thought was unthinkable: I deleted my personal Facebook account. I gave myself a week to prepare for it, posting a farewell message to friends. As I spent hours deleting photo albums and requesting friends to take down pictures of me and my family, I imagined life without Facebook. No pictures to share and receive comments on, no Status Updates from family members near and far, no cute pictures of friends' kids, no updates or funny photos from blogs and businesses I like to follow. I felt like a social media pariah already.

Then I checked that imposter's page, which was still active, and found my resolve. My final act before deleting my account was another report. This time I claimed the account had inappropriate content, and I also requested friends to report the imposter. It worked. Apparently Facebook responds to sexual content allegations and cyber-bullying.

Somewhere along the way to Wall Street, Facebook lost its original appeal as a simple, easy to use social media platform. Now it is all about pleasing shareholders, leaving users to their own devices. From a business standpoint, I absolutely understand Facebook's position. With over a billion users voluntarily revealing their preferences, Facebook stands to make a lot of money from uber-targeted advertising campaigns and other business opportunities. But I naively thought that Facebook would be different from other big companies, where customer service becomes an afterthought.

I already miss the ability to instantly connect with friends and family, but I am sure something else will become the next Facebook very soon. Until then, I prefer to keep my whereabouts, personal preferences, interests, musings, lamentations, and intellectual property under my own control. Facebook, consider yourself Unfriended.

Anyone else not on Facebook or considering deleting their account?  Share your thoughts below.