Offended by Choice

Ever lend your ear to a friend who is always upset about something? Like a parking space that was stolen from them or a co-worker that drank their diet coke in the icebox at work?

It’s not to say these aren’t issues worthy of getting your feathers ruffled, as I’d be hot under the collar too. But what are the lengths in which we go to be offended and how long are determined to stew in it?

I feel people should embrace certain social graces and honor personal boundaries. And when those lines are crossed, they should be respectfully addressed.

There’s no excuse for being disrespectful unless someone is doing the dozens about your mother’s bunions and in that case, all bets are off. But how do we deal with addressing someone when said person’s actions have nothing to do with us?

For example, if a person doesn’t curb their dog, is it your responsibility to chastise them on the street or give them a pass that perhaps they were out of bags? Sure it’s disgusting and in most states illegal, but is it worth the aggravation?

The other day, my mother, three-year old son and I stopped at a local café for lunch. The minute we sat down, my son did the “I have to pee pee” dance that every parent dreads because we all know that means you have a few seconds to get them sorted out or you’re heading to the car for a wardrobe change.

I knew their only restroom was occupied, so I did what any sane parent would do. I grabbed my portable potty (a plastic cup), turned our backs to the patrons, faced the corner and that was that. As discreetly as I attempted to be, the owner stopped me on my way to the restroom and scolded me, exclaiming I was compromising her business because someone complained.

I thought she should be more concerned with her B rating from the Health Department and the dirty dog bowls by our table. But… fair enough. I emphatically apologized and assured her my actions were not to offend or be distasteful, but it was the cup or her plush pillows.

But I also had to bring to her attention that we were the only people in that entire section of her restaurant, thus the offended chose to bend their necks in our direction and pretty much look over my shoulder.

My point is, sometimes your options are limited and your choices may be the best-case scenario for you in that moment. Being a nuisance to someone else is usually not in the plan.

Am I saying let’s all get cups and let our children relieve themselves in public to irritate people? No. But what I am saying is that we should all give out brethren the benefit of the doubt that perhaps, in that moment, they were doing their very best-- That perhaps, they forgot their plastic bags to pick up behind their dog.

...That perhaps they thought that diet coke that had your name written in black sharpie was theirs. Things that turn us off aren’t always indicative of someone caring less about how our choices affect the next person.

In closing, the owner got killed with my kindness and ended up apologizing for her tone, but the B rating and dirty dog bowls were a deal breaker for an encore eating experience.

And if someone consciously chose not to curb their dog, we ask the universe they return next time around as a Pooper Scooper. Amen.