How To Answer People Who Ask About Stuff That’s None Of Their Business [The Question]

In social situations, we’re under no obligation to satisfy the selfish curiosity of people who get up in our business with nosy questions that are none of theirs.

“Why did you drop out of college?”

“Why are you still single?”

“Are you two ever going to have kids?”

“How much money do you make a year?”

“How much did that set you back?”

Or anything else having to do with money.

Forget boundaries. These people don’t see them. They want to know who we voted for, if and how we worship, and about other personal matters we haven’t confided to anyone or just plain don’t want to talk about.

We don’t want to appear rude. But neither do we want to signal that these intrusions in our lives are acceptable, so by all means, go ahead if we’re taking one of the new weight-loss drugs.

Nosy questions can create an untenable situation for people pleasers, who may stammer in response and end up overexplaining or justifying decisions that truly are none of the other person’s business. These intrusions can also trigger sharp, discourteous retorts and public blow-ups that make the situation worse.

What’s the polite way to respond to nosy questions? Do you redirect them, ask them why they’re curious, or give a brief, vague answer? Or is it an unvarnished “it’s none of your business” OK?

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About The Question

The Question is an exclusive Patch series posing a broad array of questions on etiquette and what to do in certain situations — and readers provide the answers. If you have a topic you’d like us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com with “The Question” as the subject line.

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