Patty Donovan-Duff Retiring After 20 Years

The Bereavement Center of Westchester’s (BCW) founding director, Patty Donovan-Duff, is retiring after 20 years. Patty became a nurse in 1971. She spent 10 years in psychiatric nursing before transitioning into her next role as the first nurse and patient care coordinator for Phelps Hospice, where she later became their bereavement coordinator. At Phelps, Patty ran bereavement groups exclusively for adults, and eventually added teen groups to her program. “We saw young families dying on hospice, leaving young kids behind, and there was nothing out there to help them.”

In 1995 Jansen Hospice recruited Patty to be the first director of BCW after recognizing the need for a community bereavement center in Westchester that addressed the needs of children. This was an exciting venture for Patty who welcomed the opportunity to shape BCW and build the organization from the ground up. “When I’m confronted with something new, I read everything about it and attend conferences. I’ll teach myself everything there is to know. This was very helpful when BCW started and we needed to figure out how to run the organization.”

One of Patty’s passions throughout her tenure has been the Tree House program, an incredible support group for children 4-18 years old who have lost a sibling or parent, and their surviving parent or guardian. The Tree House welcomes families from Westchester, Connecticut, Manhattan, The Bronx, and beyond, and meets in Bronxville and Mount Kisco. There are bi-weekly meetings in both locations where families enjoy a pizza dinner and then break out into small groups based on age to talk about feelings, memories, worries, and concerns. The conversations help kids feel “normal”. As Patty says, “The Tree House is where kids feel like they’re in a club with other people like them. They feel like they can open up and say what’s on their mind without being judged. When kids feel safe and free to talk about concerns, they can start to enjoy themselves.”

The high degree of camaraderie in the Tree House is a huge factor in helping kids cope with loss, as is the dedicated support from Patty and her volunteers. They are acutely aware of the impact they have on each child and are so focused on easing their pain. “You meet kids at one of their most vulnerable points in their life. From the time the first call comes in, we just want to be there for the kids. We give so much attention to each conversation that sometimes it feels like the world stops when we’re talking to someone. Being a good listener is so important. It shows that you care, and people start to heal when they’re in the presence of someone who cares. I’ve always wanted to help people, so it’s a huge honor to be a part of the healing process.”

BCW offers a variety of programs to fit the needs of different people, whether it’s through individual counseling, or group therapy sessions. In addition to the Tree House, BCW’s other group counseling programs include perinatal loss, child loss, parent loss, and spouse/partner loss. BCW is also actively involved in school outreach, offering support to students and educating schools administrators on how to respond to grief. Patty believes that the versatile programs at BCW are one of the organization’s strengths; she candidly acknowledges, “Everyone deals with grief differently. There’s no universal prescription.”

Patty looks forward to spending more time with her husband, two children, and three grandchildren, although she is open about how much she will miss the Tree House community: “I fall in love with the people who come to me, even the ones I haven’t seen in years. I am genuinely excited about the next phase of my life, but will carry a lot of people in my heart.” Patty believes new leadership will foster growth for BCW, and is confident that the volunteers - “the foundation of BCW” - will continue to thrive.

BCW will be honoring Patty Donovan-Duff, along with Jansen Hospice and The Junior League of Bronxville, who were instrumental in the founding of the organization, at a gala on October 3rd at Siwanoy Country Club. It will be a great night to celebrate the 20 years Patty dedicated to the Bereavement Center of Westchester. To learn more about the gala honoring Patty, Jansen and the Junior League, please contact Moira Lillis at 787-2240.