Remembering Gina Pellettiere: Farmingdale Band Students Share Memories Of 'Ms. P'

FARMINGDALE, NY — Gina Pellettiere, the director of the Farmingdale High School marching band and wind ensemble, left a lasting impact with every student-musician she ever taught and every person she ever worked with, all agree.

Pellettiere, 43, of Massapequa, a single mother of a 2-year-old, was killed when the bus carrying her and some of her students to their annual band camp in Pennsylvania crashed on Thursday.

Pellettiere consistently brought the best out of her students, encouraging them to play their hearts out and enjoy doing so, her student said. She also occasionally pranked a student for a laugh in good fun, they remembered. Halftime performances from the marching band, concerts for family and friends, and Tuba Christmas at Rockefeller Plaza — "Ms. P," as everyone knew her — was at the helm of it all for Farmingdale. Cracking jokes, like her famous "muffin joke."

"Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other 'is it hot in here, or is it just me?' The other muffin says 'AHHH! A talking muffin!!'" students laughed, as they remembered.

Students of hers shared their favorite memories of Ms. P:

Joanna McCoskey Wiltshire, class of 2010

"Gina, or Ms. P as we called her, was a force to be reckoned with, with a smile that lit up the room. She made me believe that anything I wanted to do was possible, all while being able to make me laugh until my sides hurt. I looked to her as the inspiration to go into music teaching, especially with an emphasis on wind conducting. She encouraged this love in me by giving me conducting pointers anytime I was on the podium and giving me multiple opportunities to practice in front of the band. She loved her job but most importantly, we knew that she loved us. Gina made band our home and safe space. I will never be able to thank her enough for the impact she had on my life and for showing me an example of the educator I want to become — someone who was passionate and dedicated to her craft and the music, all while never forgetting to stop and live in the moment with her students. I will miss her terribly and I mourn her loss along with the rest of the Farmingdale community."

Jessica McCoskey, class of 2010

"I just am grateful to have ever had her as my teacher and to have known her. As a music teacher in another state now, I kind of took for granted how amazing our music education truly was. Her education and passion for music prepared me for a lifelong love for music, so much so that I made it my career. I can only hope to be half the teacher she was for us one day.

"My favorite memories of her were her pranks. One day when we were on spring break, it happened to be April Fool’s Day, and Joanna and I went to visit the high school and Ms. P during 9th period band. Before class started, she told us she had dipped Mike Tuzzolo’s mouthpiece in salt, so we just kept an eye on him for his reaction, and it was so funny. She fell over laughing. I think her joking around and pranking kids just made her bond with them that much stronger."

Brian Entwistle, class of 2012

"Her love of The Office is the reason I'm a professional musician today. That piano arrangement she threw at me in music theory one day led to everything I'm doing now.

As for memories... The biggest, on a personal level, will always be the time I performed Ewazen's 'Pastorale' with her and Mr. K. It's such a beautiful piece of music, but it's forever going to be special to me for that reason.

As for some fun memories... aside from 'Hey Joe' and the muffin joke, that faculty vs. student volleyball game in 2011 will always be a highlight.

And the time she got scolded by Ms. Lindsley for throwing a mannequin leg onto the stage from the pit during Prank Day."

Alex Cox, class of 2013

"Ms. Pellettiere didn't stand out for just a few moments of the years she was with FHS. She made every memory just by being her energetic and intense self. A passionate person without limits and made sure everyone was valued for who they were."

Joe Pantorno, class of 2009

"Ms. P always had a knack for speaking to students on the same level. There was no air of superiority or that traditional, 'I'm the teacher and you're the student, do as I say,' dynamic. She always had a way of getting the very best out of her students and knew the right buttons to press for each individual, whether it was motivation, tough love or a nurturing pat on the back. It was always so clear that she wanted us to succeed and improve, because she legitimately cared about us — and every year she seemingly had an army of 100 during concert season or 300 during marching band season that would run through a wall for her because of that."

Deborah Kick, class of 2011

"I was in wind ensemble all four years and marching band all four years. What I loved the most about Ms. P is that she saw all of us collectively and individually as musicians and human beings.

You were a wonderful teacher and human being. You saw your students as individuals while also recognizing what we can accomplish as a group. You made band fun, even during the most grueling moments of band camp and the tensest rehearsals before concerts or NYSSMA Majors. How lucky I was to learn under you. Your lessons carry me through my career today.

I will forever miss your warmth, your great hugs, your bright smile, and shout of 'Deb Kick!' when you saw me (I was never just 'Deb'). I hope I can bring a fraction of the welcome, joy, and kindness to those in my life that you brought to everyone.

I hope all of us Dalers can find some peace in ourselves and in our community soon."

Sean Cusack, class of 2010

"My favorite memory that became a common thing for us during band camp was whenever we took a break and she would just yell 'BREEEEZE BREAK!' Like it was a tradition! It never gets old to this day. But regardless, I couldn't ever think of a better band director than Gina Pellettiere. She was so energetic, filled with so much passion. She's gotten Farmingdale High School up on the Hofstra field for the marching band events in each of the four years that I've been there from 2006-2010. And we were of course one of the top bands (right behind Northport) out of about 20 different marching band schools. If that doesn't tell you that she's done so much to get us to such a high level in a marching band, then I don't know what does. Gina Pellettiere will be remembered for not only making the best of the marching band, but for also showing true friendship with all of the band members. Ms. P will truly be missed."

Jenna Leen (Witterman), class of 2009

"Ms. P began her journey as a Daler when I was a sophomore in high school. She walked into that band room and onto the football field and despite her petite size, had a presence larger than life.

At this point I already knew I wanted to become a band teacher as well and watching this woman work only added more fuel to my passionate fire. She commanded the podium. You could feel through her conducting that she was enveloped in the music making with you. She challenged you to do things you never knew you were capable of, and wouldn’t take 'no' for an answer. Not only was she an outstanding musician and skilled leader but she was also one of the most real people I had ever met. She laughed with you, she cried with you, she ate Taco Bell with you, she always had her door open for you. No moment in your life was too big or too small for her to listen to.

When I got my first job as a band teacher, she was the first person I wanted to tell. I remember her telling me I was her 'first kid' to get a band job and how proud she was of me. Since then, many more have followed in my footsteps and I know all of us 'kids' have continued to make her proud.

From continuing to be in professional associations with her, play concerts with her, share students with her, and know her as a friend, I consider myself one of the luckiest people on earth.
I will continue to pass on the love and inspiration you had with us every day in my classroom to the best of my ability. I can only hope one day I can give back to the community at least half of what you gave to ours. You’re irreplaceable, G. The world won’t be the same without you."

Ricky Furman, class of 2010

"If I had to give a favorite memory of Ms. P it would have to be marching band, all of it , from band camp, to the games and Newsday, she was always full of life and loved what she did."

Rachel Witt, class of 2015

"I am absolutely devastated. Ms. P is the reason why I stuck it out in band. The summer before freshman year I had actually quit, but Ms. P called me before mini-band camp and begged me to give it a try before quitting for good. I am so unbelievably thankful that she did. Because of her, most of my most favorite memories from high school involve her and band. If it wasn’t for her, me and [my husband] Christopher probably never would have had a chance to become friends and create this beautiful life together. I am so heartbroken over the news about Ms. P but also for all of the band members who were on their way to the best weekend ever at band camp. I used to love to hate on band camp, but man, was it the best time and I feel terrible that that experience was taken from them. Rest in Peace, Ms. P. We are so thankful for all of the fun times and memories. I’ll never forget the muffin joke or how exciting you made stuffing sound for dinner. I am so sorry to everyone affected and hurting today."

Chris Witt, class of 2013

"Ms. P truly lived for the marching band. She made it fun, and Rachels’s and I best memories from high school are from band camp and all the events with the marching band."

Angie Gonzalez McCaslin, class of 2013

"Ms. P was such an inspiration to many. I was a part of marching band, symphonic band, wind ensemble, jazz band, PIT, and a pep band conductor that spent lots of time with her. Her energy was unparalleled and was contagious. She always had a smile on her face, and kept us motivated year after year whether it was for the marching band season or NYSSMA season. My heart hurts for everyone impacted, especially the kids who will walk back into the band room without their band teacher."

Megan Murphy, class of 2013

"My favorite memory of Ms. P was actually after I had graduated. I was waiting on a bus stop near school for my little cousins who I was babysitting and all the sudden I hear 'MURPHY' and 'dude!' from behind me. Ms. P was in her white car with her head out the window smiling ear to ear. We talked for 10 to 15 mins and she begged me to come back and play with the kids. It perfectly described our relationship, her so excited to see me and begging me to play in front of people and me denying her request but eventually doing it anyway. There was no denying her, because she read everyone so well. I’ll never forget what it was like to hear her say 'MURPHY….dude!' R.I.P. Ms. P.

"Ms. P. always wanted me to be a leader and I never wanted to. She picked me as section leader and I declined, she begged me to run for drum major every year and every year I wouldn’t do it. I remember at band camp when we were all at a low point she’d ask the drum majors to speak and after they finished would ask anyone in the crowd if they had anything to say. I never raised my hand, not once, but she always called me out anyway and made me speak. I’m grateful she saw something in me that I clearly didn’t, even though it annoyed me in the moment, I know she did it out of love. Because Ms. P. loved us all, and we all loved her."

Miguel Hutchinson, class of 2012

"Ms. P was an incredible teacher. We would be at band camp in the morning and there was Ms. P with 'Hey Joe' and the muffin joke to keep us motivated. It could be raining and we're all soaked through our ponchos but Ms. P would still laugh and tell jokes. Band was a big part of my life then and it helped shape me into the person I am today. Her legacy will continue with every person she has met. I guess now every time the wind picks up we can say she is letting us have a breeze break. RIP Ms. P."

Erica Falco, class of 2013

"Dear Ms. P,

We love you so much. You were always the most uplifting and cheery, energetic soul. I don’t really have the words right now, but you were incredibly impactful to the FHS band community and the wind ensemble. We will miss you… The community will miss you… You were the heart of our marching band, wind ensemble, and music department. There will truly be no one to ever replace you, EVER. You were one of a kind and a very talented musician, trumpet player. You are the true definition of a Gold Distinction. Thank you for believing in me, pushing me to go to NYSSMA, so I’d land in your band, and for your catchphrases which will stay with me forever. You will forever be a huge part of my high school experience, DUUUUDE. Rest in the sweetest peace.

Love,
Erica"

Sal Nunziata, class of 2015

"One of my fave things about Ms. P is that no matter who we were or what we needed, she was always there to support us and cheer us on. She had a huge impact on me personally and I am a better person for it."

Joe Geraci, class of 2020

"Back in pit orchestra on year — I believe it was the musical 'Hairspray' — we had some random chicken nugget that Ms. P swiped without anyone noticing during a rehearsal. Needless to say, about a week later at the final show, she had that nugget wrapped in gift box and 'gifted' it to us as a finale present. It looked the same, frighteningly, but had shrunk about 25 percent. It was a disgusting yet hilarious and unforgettable moment to say the least."

Kristen Col, class of 2014

"My favorite thing about Ms. P is the never ending energy she brought to the field as well as the band room. She never ceased thinking of ways to keep morale up after a long day of marching and she truly went out of her way to get to know each and every student on that field. I don’t think I would have continued on with band if it hadn’t been for her massive enthusiasm for all things music. Farmingdale Music will truly never be the same without her."

Courtney Sack, class of 2013

"Ms. P was always the heart of FHS music. She inspired me in so many ways. She knew just what to say to make you laugh and push you to be the best version of yourself. She allowed me into her classroom during college to learn the ropes as I pursued my degree in music education. Becoming her music colleague was such an honor, as I got to say I learned under her baton. Our continued relationship after high school is something I will forever cherish. Her smile, her jokes and her incredible talent will be missed tremendously."

Aaron Cox, class of 2015

"I only had one music class with Ms. P, however, it was my most favorite and memorable music class I’ve had at Farmingdale High School. Ms. P brought out the best in everyone, made class members feel welcome and encouraged questions and enriching learning, all while creating fun times for everyone. I wish I had her as my primary music teacher during my time at the school, as she was always kind and supportive to my brother who was a part of her class."

Ryan Schultz, class of 2011

"During my time at Farmingdale HS, I was very fortunate to have participated in many incredible musical opportunities with the marching band, jazz band, and wind ensemble. All of those unique and memorable experiences were because of the hard work and dedication of Ms. P. She guided and inspired every one of her students to reach their greatest potential, creating and sustaining a music program of high distinction.

"Ms. P had such a joyful, warm, and caring spirit. She was genuinely interested in the well-being of all of her students. I distinctly remember her amazing ingenuity. Many of the concerts that I participated in had a focus that was greater than just the music or the band; it was about the entire school community. Time after time, Ms. P had included different student clubs, groups, and staff members within the high school in such creative and fascinating ways. As a music educator myself, I strive to follow in the footsteps of my former music teacher to create memorable musical experiences for my own students. I try my very best to inspire and educate the next generation of musicians. My passion and commitment to music education come from her.

"Ms. P, your service to the Farmingdale community will forever be remembered."

Matteo Laurino, class of 2022

"I was a member of the symphonic band and part of the marching band all four years at Farmingdale High School. The music department at FHS is the root of what makes Farmingdale, Farmingdale. I remember the day like it was yesterday, I was so nervous for my first mini band camp over the summer.

"I stepped into the commons at mini band camp, and a teacher stopped me and said 'Hey dudeee, welcome to the band, I’m Ms. P, are you a freshman?' and I answered 'Yes, I’m Matteo,' and she said, 'Omg I love that name, it’s so great to have you part of the band.' And instantly, I felt so welcomed with open arms into a family.

"With her infectious smile, passion for music, and passion for her students, she made band a family, and she completed that family. Ms. P made band a comfortable environment for every single student performing on that football field. Year after year, she made marching band even better, even when times were tough for everyone. She made doing hard work, fun. She made marching fun. She made music fun. I’ll never forget the occasional band lessons we had with Ms. P, always being able to step in and love what she was doing. Ms. P made me fall in love with music all over again, she brought back my passion that I thought I had lost for a little while.

"As I became an upperclassman in the band, Ms. P saw potential in me and pushed me to be a section leader. Looking back, that was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Being able to be a leader in the band was one of the many things I’ll cherish. One of the most important things about Ms. P is that she made every person in the band feel like an important part of our family. She was the kindest soul always smiling. I will cherish the memories with Ms. P in my heart forever. I will never forget you Ms. P, Rest in peace, Love you Dudeee."

Robert Leone, class of 2013

"Every day started and ended in the band room for me, even eating lunch at the desk outside her office. The impact Ms. P had on students was one-of-a-kind, leading some to become music educators themselves. Farmingdale’s music program will never be the same."

Rachel Carlin, class of 2017

"There are so many memories I am blessed to have of Ms. P because she was such an integral part of my high school experience. It was Ms. P who gave me the opportunity to do jazz band as a freshman which I never would have done if it wasn’t for her encouragement. It was Ms. P who called to give me the best news my senior year, that I had been chosen for All State after first being selected as an alternate. She came up to Rochester with us, and it was an experience I cherish above all else. It wouldn’t have been possible without having incredible teachers like Ms. P who believed in us. It was in Ms. P’s rehearsals (whether wind ensemble or jazz band or marching band), which could sometimes be challenging, that we learned the most important part of being musicians, which is playing with heart and enjoyment. It was her band room that became my sanctuary, where I met lifelong friends.

"Her door was always open, whether to eat lunch there or to practice some music or do homework or study. She never turned anyone away — even students who weren’t involved in band. She and Mrs. Lieberman made band an accepting, loving community for all Dalers. I know so many people who wanted to quit band that she personally convinced not to quit, and each and every one have attested to how her influence led them to their best high school experiences.

"I was nervous about marching band and band camp too, but she had a way of putting students at ease. She went above and beyond her duties as a teacher, caring for each and every student (and there were hundreds each year!). That in and of itself is a huge accomplishment. It is undoubtedly true that she saw something in her students that we didn’t see in ourselves initially. We were blessed to learn from her, and it is our duty now to carry her torch and continue the legacy of musicianship and leadership that Dalers are known for."

Zianni Orange, class of 2018

"I was a percussion student with Ms. P. Ms. P was an extremely passionate music teacher. Her love of music was so apparent you couldn’t miss it. She had such varied taste as her selections ranged from Chick Corea in jazz band to Vaclav Nehlybel in Wind Ensemble. In retrospect, one thing stayed nearly constant, especially in Wind Ensemble, and that was the fact that she chose the most expressive, boisterous and brassy pieces (and showed some serious love to the percussion section with her choices too. We were knuckleheads that needed to be entertained with fun percussion parts).

"I’ve learned over the past day that music conductors need to be emotionally in-tune with their band members, so you understand their temperament and as a result, know who to give what type of part. She was a master at this. She had our utmost respect and a strong command over us as an ensemble/marching band while keeping the energy light and full of motivation and drive.

Ms. P led us to absolute war with her ambition and belief in us to play college level pieces. And we followed her lead with certainty because we loved her! She will be so missed. I loved her so much."

Amber Moustafa, class of 2026

"I was Ms. P's treasurer for about 6 months before her passing. She was always my motivation to go to school. We used to gossip about boys, talk about school, and God knows how many times she would say I would get into Wind Ensemble if I did NYSSMA. I cried after my solo, and came to her, and she comforted me, saying I would never see that person again.

I’ve donated so many lunch periods just to see her in the band room since being around her brightened my day by a landslide. I only experienced one Band Camp with her, but it was the best experience I could ask for. Every time I’d walk by her, she’d scream 'DUDE!!!' or 'Yeah Amber!!' with that cheesy smile she had.

I’ll never forget Ms P, she was our marching band mom and viewed us like her own kids. She was so passionate about what she did. RIP Ms. P."

Nicole Crici, class of 2015

"I was with Ms. P for 4 years in wind ensemble and marching band, and I remember her worrying that once me and the other cheerleaders were going onto varsity, we wouldn’t be able to do marching band at the football games and we would only be able to perform our cheer routine at halftime. But we made it work and it ended up being my absolute favorite high school memory. She let us run to our spots in the marching band right after our cheer performance, as well as letting us wear our cheerleading uniforms while everyone had on their marching band uniforms.

"I remember her screaming excitedly for us to hurry to our spots and it made me smile that we were able to do both! Band camp was such a special experience. I bragged every year about how fun it was, how excited I was to always go, and people definitely thought I was crazy but that’s because Ms. P made it fun. She made us laugh with her muffin joke, her breeze breaks, and just her overall goofy energy. I recently saw her at a summer band program played at the gazebo in Farmingdale Village and it was so comforting to know she never changed. Band unfortunately will never be the same but I do hope all these traditions are continued in honor of her."

Gabby Messina, class of 2009

"I played the clarinet. I had Ms. P as my teacher when I finally was able to join the wind ensemble. Just like some others, reading music didn’t come easy to me. Ms. P believed in me and told me she wanted me to try out. I was incredibly nervous and I almost backed out but she kept saying 'Dudeeee just do it- you’ve got this!' Long story short, I made wind ensemble and it honestly was the greatest.

"She was such a genuine, cool person. Always positive, always happy, always made the best of every situation. She had an open door policy, (lots of people including myself, hung out in the band room on periods we had off or whenever we dreaded going to that next class we didn’t like and tried to convince her to let us stay there or get her to write us a late pass). She was always supportive and saw the best in everyone. I always looked forward to class and lessons with her. She rubbed off on people. Her positivity and happiness was contagious. You couldn’t possibly be in the same room as her, and not feel that way. Her love of music, and her love of coming together as a band, it was just so unlike what I felt from any other teacher. The pride she gave us in being part of band and marching band, the ways she challenged us and helped us grow. It was sooo important to experience, especially at that time in life in high school.

"Between marching band, lessons, pep band, concerts (I remember my mom made her a Christmas cape for one of our winter concerts) and parades, she truly made my HS experience wonderful. It’s incredible to see how many lives she’s touched and I’m forever grateful to be able to say she was my teacher."

Bryan Purpora, class of 2011

"Miss P! Words can not describe the pain I’m feeling right now. Those of you that don’t know me, I am a 2011 high school alumnus. When Gina first started that was close to my freshman year of school. Miss P was fairly new and personally I didn’t know much about her. Being a freshman alone was nerve-racking because now I was in the high school. The big leagues. As soon as I came into the band room as a freshman in 2007 I was instantly welcomed. Miss P was standing at the doorway 9th period on the first day of school greeting everyone. That contagious smile and energy instantly made an impression on me. Then in that moment I was a part of the biggest family I ever had. I did all 4 years of band camp. Not once did I ever feel unsafe or think a tragedy like this would ever happen. Miss P, you never ever made anyone feel uncomfortable knowing band wasn’t everyone’s passion. You worked with students and understood all angles of life. I personally remember you telling me because at the time I was a volunteer firemen that you cherished what we do because we are heroes. And specifically having a conversation in your office…. You told me to pick a parade I wanted to march with the band, and a parade I can march with the fire department…. And told me you better come say hello to me in your uniform looking all good. Every parade down Main Street in Farmingdale will never be the same. You walking next to all of us smiling and bring joy to all the parents and kids watching. I can honestly say I’m proud to have been apart of the best music program on Long Island. Our sound alone was one to put in the record books.

"Personally I’m having a hard time knowing you're gone but I know for a fact your legacy will continue on forever. From you yelling 'dudeeeeeeee chicken patty Thursday!!!!!' To the breeze breaks at band camp…… to the muffin joke. There were times you were serious about band then there was always times to have fun. I can honestly say that my time in high school was the best in my life thanks to you…… I’m grateful I had you as a teacher and I’m glad I had you in my life. You are such a kind hearted person. That contagious smile will never be forgotten. The band room at FHS will never be the same. I love you miss P! I always will and thank you for making my 4 years of high school the best time in my life. RIP."

Michelle Mellina, class of 2010

"Because of Ms. P and her passionate spirit, band was not just a class or an extracurricular activity. For many of us, band was family. I wanted to spend all of my free time in band because of the energetic atmosphere Ms. P created and the opportunity she provided us to be the best musicians we can possibly be. Because of her I joined every aspect of band that was offered, I even remember quitting cheerleading because I couldn’t stand to be away from the band at halftime.

"Whether it was eating my lunch with Ms. P in the band room or eating wings with her after 'stage crew,' I was always finding ways to spend extra time with her outside of band. Gina’s fun personality even inspired our saxophone section to have gatherings outside of band to bond even further. Band was truly home base and the best part of high school by far. We were all so fortunate to have had Ms. P as a teacher, friend and mentor. The Farmingdale Music Department will never be the same without her passion, kindness, humility and unparalleled talent. Rest in peace, dude."

Nicole Weinberg, class of 2013

"My favorite memory of her was when I was hanging out in the wind ensemble room with Angelo and Dan D. She comes up to us and says, 'Guys I don’t feel well.' I asked her, 'Did you have your Red Bull yet?' She laughed and said no. She was not herself without her Red Bull."

Matt Rocha, class of 2014

"Ms. P inspired me not to quit band in 8th grade. When her marching band performed for us and she gave her speech about the music family we’d be joining if we continued playing in high school, she revived my passion for music. I could tell how serious she was about ensuring we would have fun, while also being challenged to reach new heights. She completely changed the trajectory of my life. She guided and supported me through every step of my music journey, where I eventually made it into All-State, became section leader, and performed my first-ever jazz band solo. She cared so much about her students’ success that she would call each of us on our cell phones when we got a 100 on our NYSSMA solos. I still have that voicemail to this day.

"Her support led to me only applying to colleges with marching bands, which is how I met my wife. So when I say Ms. P changed the trajectory of my life, I don’t mean it lightly. I wouldn’t be half the person I am today without her influence.

"Her passion, goofiness, intelligence, and support gave hundreds and thousands of students a reason to smile and find themselves within her band. She perfected the art of being our friend, mentor, and teacher, all at the same time. She gave me a reason to make it through the school day, so I could finally be with her in 9th period for Wind Ensemble. She was a beautiful soul and a guiding light. She dedicated her life to this music community, and we are all so incredibly thankful for her."

Christian Kalinowski, class of 2012

"I spent my freshman year of high school in Catholic school and, while it is not the place I met Ms. P, it was the place where our story began. In freshman year, I joined the symphonic band in my high school, and I met my band teacher. To put it nicely, this teacher made me uninspired to continue the journey playing saxophone that I had already put years of effort into learning. He was off-putting and condescending and, if we paired that with my negative experience in high school overall, it ultimately lead to me transferring at the end of the year to Farmingdale. It was a big transition for me and band camp was my first interaction with Farmingdale after meeting Mrs. Lieberman. Part of my requisite for being in band in freshman year was that I was required to do a NYSSMA solo. I completed my Level 3 solo and brought that perfect 100 to the Symphonic Band at Farmingdale and then to band camp where I was ultimately introduced to the wonderful, welcoming, and encouraging, Gina Pellettiere.

Now, Ms. P and Mrs. Lieberman were a knockout duo. I was welcomed so warmly by their personalities and that sparked my inspiration to not only continue saxophone but grow with it. To sum up a couple of years of high school band and band camp, I grew to play alto saxophone and baritone saxophone in the marching band, Symphonic Band, and Wind Ensemble after jumping from Level 3 to Level 5 to satisfy the prerequisite for Wind Ensemble all the while being encouraged to further push myself. Ms. P and Mrs. Lieberman were ecstatic when they learned I began taking private lessons with another very well-known teacher and he pushed me further to audition for All-State. This was a HUGE progression in two years.

Freshman year, I auditioned with a Level 3 solo. Sophomore year, I auditioned with a Level 5 solo. With that solo, I made it to the big stage and was welcomed into the Wind Ensemble. Junior year, I auditioned with a Level 6 solo for All-State. In two short years, I went from not wanting to play saxophone anymore to taking on the hardest kind of test as an individual soloist. This is where the inspiration from Ms. P was contagious and explosive. I was so enamored by the achievement I was able to pursue because of the fortification that Ms. P provided.

I was welcomed into a family. I was welcomed into HER family, and I found a space to grow. I grew more in those couple of years than I had in any stretch of that same amount of time anywhere in my life. Ms. P brought out the best in people. She was humble, but she loved winning, and that’s where the story comes back to my original band teacher.

Coming into the building for my Level 6 All-State solo, not only was I nervous, but I was also afraid. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be good enough; that I hadn’t practiced enough. I was afraid on the drive over, the walk in, and the waiting period. I was afraid until Ms. P met me to walk me to my solo room. Then I knew. I knew I had it in the bag and I knew that I was ready. That was the thing about Ms. P: She radiated confidence. Being around her, I was at ease. It was on our walk to the room that I think one of the most satisfying events happened.

Walking in the opposite direction was my original band teacher from freshman year. Ms. P and I stopped to chat with him briefly as he recognized me and Ms. P. He very snobbishly assumed what I was there to perform, "Level 3…. Level 4?" With a subtle look at Ms. P and a little smile, I had the pleasure of responding, "Level 6… All-State."

Now that might not mean a lot to you, but it did to me. I was raised by a lot of strong women; Mother, Stepmother, Grandmothers, Aunts, etc. It was at that moment that I knew I had another strong woman in my life. It was Ms. P. She was a pivotal foundation in who I developed into as a performer even outside of a performance ensemble. She encouraged me to do things I never thought I’d be able to do and, when I faltered, she shined a light back in the right direction. She never scolded. She never disparaged. She encouraged. She enthused. Here was a woman who adopted a musical foster, molded, and threw him back at the very system that beat him down. I felt on top of the world.

I mentioned I had a lot of strong women in my life, but there’s a moment that stands out with Ms. P. It happened after my audition the next time I went to school and saw Ms. P. She was unable to meet me after my solo as she had loads of other students to encourage and bolster confidence in. I understood that especially after she had lit my fire before my audition. I understood that responsibility that she had given herself, but it was the next day I saw her in school. She asked what I got on my solo. Unfortunately, anything other than a 100 in my family could be considered a failure especially if it was very close to 100 like a 98 or 99. I got a 93. When I told Ms. P, she was ecstatic.

I was confused by that, but she explained that it was because I had made such a jump in the music world, one that she hadn’t really seen. She was impressed, maybe, but really she was proud and she expressed how proud she was of the fact that I had come so far. She didn’t expect a 100 from me because, in the long run with All-State, it likely wouldn’t have made a difference anyway. She was proud that I practiced, proud that I committed, and proud that I showed up for the trial by fire. Her being proud of me took me to a different world of enjoyment. Someone had cared so much about something even though that something was imperfect.

It's very hard to explain that kind of feeling and I can only hope that, in the many years to come, you find that same kind of encouragement and guidance from someone. Find the strong women in your life and remember to tell them how pivotal they are to you. They’ll always fight for you. Those are the kinds of women that you’ll want in your corner and the very kind of woman that Ms. P was. She stood up for all of us. She fought. She guided. Ultimately, though, she inspired. That inspiration is a very hard thing to put into words which is why her actions made such a difference."

If you were a student or co-worker of Gina Pellettiere and would like to share your own thoughts about her, please reach out to me or email me at michael.desantis@patch.com.