It's On The Books

Back in the earliest days of Harrison, people tried to see if the Village could be run without rules. As you might imagine, chaos ensued. People jaywalked, posted bills everywhere, and worse, they played Michael Bolton records whenever they felt like it! Not the way it is now: every fourth Friday at noon for 10 minutes.

See, bureaucracy isn't all bad.

Here is a bit more about the Harrison Code. Its intent, its amendments. And that special codicil that actually lists all the lyrics to "O.P.P.!"

In the first section, "Legislative Intent," Harrison states that these laws will hereafter be called the "Code." This was after several names and even more name changes. In fact, I just found out, that for a while, it was actually called "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince."

Certain laws have, apparently, been omitted from The Code that may seem to contradict each other. No, I don't think this includes, say, our "Walk" and "Don't Walk" signs. But I can see why that still might confuse you.

There's also a rather confusing section about laws that have been "Repealed." But, of course, I did look at them when I'd been drinking. That's because "Prohibition" was repealed. It's just these kind of paradoxes that can really mess with your mind. Especially when you're smashed.

Of course, The Code makes it clear that any number of laws cannot be repealed. Which is good, when it comes to keeping murderers in jail. But, unfortunately, it came too late to affect the showing of future Justin Timberlake movies.

Some of the laws that have been "Saved From Repeal"? 

Any "prosecution, indictment, action, suit or other proceeding," rendered by a judge before this date. And to clear things up, you can't actually be indicted for wearing a certain kind of suit. This was just too subjective. And when the Village Council tried to enact the "Armani Law" people said enough is enough.

Any legislation "relating to salaries." Which, personally, I find hard to relate to. But I'm generally pretty alienated, so you can't go by me.

Any legislation relating to "vehicles and traffic." And yes, this still pertains to anyone driving and singing "Can I Get A What What." In fact, that's why the law was enacted in the first place.

It is the duty of The Village Clerk to keep the certified copy of the Code Book up-to-date. Apparently, the Clerk is still trying to catch up on all the changes. So, in the meantime? Yes, your drawbridge must be repaired every year and your moat be kept clean!

Copies of The Code Book are for sale as well. From the Village Clerk, or at the A&P. Is it an accident that they keep them right next to the sleep aids? You tell me.

Anyone who tampers with the code is looking at a $250 fine or possibly even imprisonment. What constitutes "tampering"? Certainly, writing your name in any time you see the word "Exemptions." Especially, that chapter on "Taxes." Or, if you don't like your neighbor, you can't add his name to the "Taxes" section. And indicate, he will be paying yours from now on, too. 

These local laws "shall be effective" immediately, after filing them with The Secretary of the State of New York. There does seem to be a little back-up, though. Still, once the State processes the request from Francis Scott Key, they promise to get right on ours.

Finally, you can actually set The Code to music. Since no one seems to own the rights. Just throw in some rock guitars and colorful costumes and it should bring in the crowds.

There's actually a rumor that "Spider-Man The Musical" is based on someone's Town Code. Which should encourage you. Or depress you. It all depends on your Point of View. And your feelings about The Theater.