Because Christmas Is

It’s the week before Christmas.

Most of my packages are wrapped, and the festive red boxes of candy are tied with plaid ribbon sitting in a green basket waiting to be distributed.

The magical sound of John McDermott’s Christmas music softly floods my small apartment

And I am trying desperately to recreate the joyful anticipation of years gone by.

It isn’t quite so simple this memorable December of 2020, and yet it is probably more important than ever before.

I know that and in an attempt to resurrect some of the remembered nostalgia I turn on the TV.

Immediately I learn Abraham Lincoln is now under attack. He’s been gone so long, I can’t comprehend how he fell into disfavor. And what will become of his elegant memorial. Oh, I think, I can’t stand listening to this.

I quickly retreat to my IPAD just in time for an alert. The flashing blue words convey the unwanted information that the impending blizzard will bring more snow than America has seen in 658 days. Does that matter I wonder as I quickly turn the device off.

Quickly I realize the solution for ennui is not in a device or information outlet, but only within myself.

It is not Christmas that has changed. Reluctantly I admit, I have.

It may be true that I haven’t trudged through a Mall searching for the perfect gifts. However, I discovered the online Museum gift shops are an amazing source of wonderful surprises and also, affordable.

While it is true I no longer have loved ones nearby, once I did. That is what is really important. As well as an admission that now they, too, must follow their own starlit journey of life. And also acknowledge that each of them still generously share their amazing adventures via the magic of internet.

This morning I was concerned about not having baked enough Christmas cookies, until UPS delivered a package from the Merritt Bakery. Immediately, I knew Christmas was coming the moment I viewed Mike’s magical, memorable morsels.

I can bask in the luxury of having everything done and ready and no longer agonize about what wasn’t accomplished. I no longer need fret about having a lavish dinner prepared and edible for a houseful of guests. Many who once visited now abide in a better place; the few who remain are facing unanticipated challenges with courage and gusto and remain a source of my strength.

I savor the candlelight forgetting the votive lights are battery operated, and pretend the flickering flames are real. No longer need I worry about a fire.

Mostly I remember yesterdays; the love that once flooded my life and my world, and those who shared it.

I can be grateful for all that once was, and wrap myself snuggly with the good memories.

Then I feel the magic and the meaning of this beautiful time again. I remember that I will not be the only one mandated to isolate on the 25th Day of December.

Perhaps when I retrieve a bit of yesteryear’s joy and share it, any lingering loneliness will dissipate as quickly as the falling fragile drops of snow.

It might be a challenge, but I know it’s important to try because Christmas is worth it.