A Bottomless Pit

I have been engrossed in a marvelous new book by James Lee Burke, and found myself rereading one of his lines more than once.

The words opened a bottomless pit of emotion as I kept refocusing on them.

“We regret the things we didn’t do, not the things we did.”

The author then proceeds to include romances never had, music never danced to and children never parented.

As I looked deep into my own memorabilia of yesterdays, I retrieved a few of my own because his didn’t apply.

I had the only romance I ever wanted or dreamed about.

I danced until I wore out more pairs of black Capezios than I can remember

And I had the Fabulous Four, who could have wanted more????

Yet, there are a few areas, I can admit yearning about.

I never drove in NYC traffic. I always hoped to reach that level of confidence, but never achieved it.

I wish I had been able to keep a promise to my friends in Caracas and return after learning to speak their language fluently

I have to admit I often wished I wasn’t tone deaf and could carry a tune and sing in a choir.

Sometimes I wish I hadn’t worked so hard, and played a lot more.

I do regret I didn’t spend more time watching the waves at Jones Beach when it was only 15 minutes away.

Every morning I’m sorry I stopped grinding my own coffee beans.

And most importantly, I wish I said “I’m sorry” more often.

Sometimes I wonder if I could have achieved more by concentrating on writing just one novel,

Quite often I wish I had been more open to friendship and less reclusive.

However, as I look deeper into the abyss, even more often.........

I am grateful beyond words for the one love of my life along with:

The abundant joy, and yes, worry, that accompanied God’s gift, Our Fabulous Four

Nor will I ever forget the 19 years when I learned about love and life embraced by loving family, friends and neighbors in Hells Kitchen, NYC.