Musts, Should and

I keep lists on a daily basis

They have labels; "Musts, Should, and Hopes."

This may lead to the mistaken impression that I am highly efficient.

Nada, not at all, but without the lists, I could be labeled hopeless.

I believe this habit (or whatever it can be termed) began the year I attended Katie Gibbs.

I was 16 and beginning to realize my days of gazing out the window recording the constant saga of life unfolding on 58th Street had to end. My scribbled stories were not going to provide a red brick road for a life of my own.

Hence the lists began and have been maintained ever since.

They were scribbled on paper towels when the Fabulous Four were toddlers.

They moved up a bit when all four left reluctantly on Uncle Louie’s yellow school bus, and their weary Mother filled her second coffee cup with a guilty sigh of relief.

When I reentered the business world, the lists became far more complicated, and readable.

They grew rapidly in scope when the now lamented exodus of youth began and each list incorporated new addresses, phone numbers and eventually additional names.

Then the lists leaped into the computer age, and became digital.

That helped somewhat when the sudden emergence of doctor’s appointments, scheduled tests and decisions took precedence over everything else included on the list.

When the house became totally silent, the lists became a crutch to continue. They maintained a semblance of normality, when in truth life had been totally shattered by grief.

The lists traveled with me when I made an unexpected decision to depart for a new home.

They helped me survive downsizing and estate sales and decisions on what to pack as well as what to abandon.

The lists have also been maintained for the three years I have enjoyed a new home, been blessed with new friendships and embraced being close to family.

Today, I wonder, not about abandoning the lists, but renaming them.

Perhaps, Blessings, Joys and Friendships.

I believe today is the day I should begin doing that.