A New Word In My

I answered without thinking. “Happy, no, but content, yes.”

The questioner had surprised me while we were sitting together eating dinner. When I answered, I surprised myself.

Content was a relatively unused word in my vocabulary. I cannot remember ever finding it an apt description for myself at any other stage of life.

But as my companion pressed on, “What about happy,” I replied. “Happiness is nebulous, it comes and goes like quicksilver, and for me now it has gone.”

Then I repeated my original statement, “I am content.”

After finishing my meal and returning to my apartment, I thought about the conversation, and re-examined my emotions.

I recalled happiness. It was magical, fleeting in and out of my life, like a firefly. Too precious to remain long lest its electricity fade. Yet, I can still close my eyes and remember those incredible moments of total and absolute happiness because it never came in small doses and always left its imprint on my heart.

When you are happy you are deluged with the emotion. It saturates your entire being. However, joy is totally different. It can be almost static, not wavering , but totally comfortable being present for long periods of time. I think that best describes the life I was blessed with.

There were the quicksilver streaks of happiness and long blessed periods of joy. Both were tied together with alternate ribbons of anxiety, and occasional fears. Yet their stripes were few and far between.

However, contentment was an emotion I had to realize rather late in life. It came unexpectedly and took time to recognize. I had to learn it also carried a degree of comfort that was needed, and an emotional equilibrium that I had to learn,

It has taken me a lifetime to recognize this amazing emotion on the roller coaster of life’s complicated journey. Now that I have found it on a quiet path near the end, I must admit it is quite nice, and I understand its name is contentment,

And I give thanks.