Not Yet, Not

I had an amazing trip last December, but it was a long journey. When I arrived home weary and happy, I realized the beloved black coat that had traveled with me was tired, incredibly tired as a matter of fact.

Reluctantly, I knew it was time to say adieu and within days ordered a brown replacement. The new garment is significantly warmer than it’s ancestor, and admittedly, more “today.”. However, that doesn’t really matter since it has only emerged once (or possibly twice) since it took up residence in my wonderful walk in closet.

When I made a surprise visit to the closet (an unanticipated luxurious addition to my world ) this morning, my honest reaction was “why?” A word I never thought I would utter, but reality has descended with power and light opening my conscience to stark truth.

I never needed so many clothes. Perhaps I wanted them, but needed, no, never. Some of them have not emerged since the advent of Covid. Some rarely spend time with their clothing cousins in either closet or abode. The comfort relatives, i.e., a brown sweater and matching tights along with an antique white sweater, rarely make it home to join their fellow garments in the closet at night. Other items of beauty (in my humble opinion) the tomato red satin blouse bought last year for the holidays verge on being candidates for adoption due to their owner’s recent neglect.

I personally selected most of the items. Several, of course, were gifts from family, but the majority of the closet’s inhabitants were chosen by me. How dare I neglect them just because of Covid?

I wonder if I should at least dress for dinner? Doesn’t royalty do that even when dining alone?

Somehow it seems ridiculous to drape the leopard scarf around my brown sweater when sitting alone finishing a delivered meal. Yet, do I abandon the array of garments I treasured before March of 2020? No, I cannot or possibly will not delegate them to a clothing bin. Not yet at least. If I did that it would be comparable to abandoning all hope and I have not reached that juncture yet.

Not yet, not yet, I tell myself. The vaccine is coming has become my mantra. As I repeat it often during the day, I reassure myself there will be ample opportunities to wear the red satin blouse and possibly even the new unused coat.

Then I give serious thought to putting the scarf on prior to dessert this evening.