An Open Letter

Please! Don’t give it to me.

I don’t want it.

I have plenty of my own.

I realize it is the easiest gift to share, but keep yours.

Honestly, I really, really don’t need any more.

I have tried so hard to keep mine private and not share it. If that’s selfish, so be it.

Every morning you give me more.

Today I received your message that the lovely slice of nitrate free bacon I had just put on my Portmellion plate will kill me.

I know you assured me not this year but in 20 years. Do you know how old I am?

And yes, artificial intelligence is rapidly taking over our world.

Maybe where you reside, but believe me, not where I live. Not a chance.

I hate to dispute your sources, but I know what I am talking about.

Ah yes, the Flu. I have had it twice this year, so I don’t need any more worry on the subject. I have ample of my own. Do you have a suit of armor? I won’t tell you about mine if you stop warning me about this.

And yes, I do know about climate warming, but it has snowed here for the last three months, and I really just want to eat my breakfast. So if you don’t mind, please keep your anxieties to yourself.

There is no doubt you are absolutely right. There is a definite danger of a nuclear attack, but what can I do?

Pray, of course, but I do that nightly and I hope you do too.

So, thank you so much for always thinking of me and wanting to share your world with me. It’s not that I don’t appreciate your generosity, but frankly, I’d rather not accept any more gifts.

Just take me off your alert list for all potential future calamities. Please!

I could really surprise you with the fears I own already, but I don’t think that would be kind.

However, I do think you might be impressed.