Portmellion and

I brought all the Portmeillion with me when I left New York.

Of course, I knew bringing it was frivolous. I was totally aware that so many beautiful matching glasses, dishes, place mats, and of course, serving pieces would never be needed in my new environment.

While unpacking the large create and pondering where to put all the lovely items, the young woman helping me obviously wondered, "Why?"

I couldn’t explain that I needed the Portmeillion to help me remember.

During the years my son and daughter in law lived in Manchester, each Christmas, birthday and yes, Mother's Day, I would receive a package carefully wrapped with one or two pieces of the lovely and unique Botanic Garden pattern.

I had never owned such lovely china. To be honest, House Beautiful had never been one of my priorities. Possibly, my daughter in law was subtly giving me a gentle and kind message. It didn’t matter. I was thrilled with all the exquisite dishes, cups and saucers that arrived intact in the many boxes.

During the years after their growing family returned to the states, the lovely gifts continued to enlarge my treasured collection. Of course, now they had to be purchased from local department stores and were not as easy to locate as they had been in Manchester.

I remembered those gifts when I was leaving my home of 57 years and knew I had to bring the entire collection with me.

Now I set my breakfast table nightly with one of the laminated place mats, and place a coffee mug next to a small plate. My luncheon table is equally arranged with similar lovely pieces, and on the rare occasions when I dine in my apartment I use the larger pieces.

My new friends do not understand.

“Why make life harder for yourself?” they protest. I prefer not to explain that each of the items of china insist I remember the gift givers.

Each beautiful dish reclaims a memory of the love we shared once a very long time ago before it descended into a bad place, A very bad place where silence took precedence over dialogue, and nothing seemed able to wash the resentment away. No protest of love, nor request for reconciliation has been able to embrace the anger with forgiveness and cleanse it.

Today the daily reminder of the love, joy and pride that once filled my life is far more important than my new friends could ever understand. Indeed using the Portmellion is a Mother’s Day gift I give myself daily and will continue to do so as long as my Lord allows.

Probably the phone won’t ring today or even tomorrow, but when I have my coffee and egg each morning I only remember those I love with a smile. And pray that maybe one day they, too, will be able to remember me that way.