Reflections In

My Mother was a young Grandmother, and I was a young Mother-In-Law.

Possibly, that is why both my sisters and I never viewed our Mother as being “old.” But, of course, she was.

After Dad died, Mom returned to work, leaving her youngest child in the care of her unmarried sister. They shared a household of three until my youngest sister left the nest shortly after graduating from college.

That was when both Mom and Aunt Helen agreed it was time to leave their beloved city and move to New Jersey. Our family was expanding and several of the grandchildren had recently married.

As I recall, it was the first Christmas after their move, when one of the newer members of the family, blithely announced she believed there was no longer any need to give gifts to the two elder stateswomen in the family.

She explained it was not a monetary decision, but based on their age, and with aplomb the young bride stated “It’s time they gave things away rather that receive gifts.”

I wasn’t shocked, but more surprised because while I knew both my aunt and Mother were certainly aging, I knew they loved opening gifts. And, while we were certainly aware of their advancing years, neither my sisters nor I thought of them as “old.”

So, despite her opinion, my sisters and I continued our long time practice of sending small gifts for all occasions, chocolates for Valentine’s Day, shamrocks for St. Pat’s, Lillies for Easter, lavender for birthdays, and on and on.

During the fifteen years that followed, I truly believe the two ladies always enjoyed opening a package. It wasn’t important what small trinket or minute piece of trivia was wrapped in the gala box. Rather it was the knowledge that they both still were vital to our clan despite their age and due recognition.

I thought of that today when my sparkling red sequin pendant broke. Eight years ago, shortly after my love , died, another new member of our family opened her home for a Christmas brunch. Gifts were exchanged, but since I had just arrived from the east coast, I hadn’t expected to be included in the festive packages being distributed.

However, I was, with not one but instead, a gift from each member of my new extended family. I remember all of the lovely surprises I received that day, but the red sequin brooch became a favorite piece of jewelry.

While the brilliant red stones were sequins, I treasured the pendent more than if they had been rubies. The love that motivated the time, thought and presentation of such unexpected welcome and love, reassured me that others didn’t believe I was now too aged to value consideration

Possibly when we gaze into a mirror, we see a reflection of how other’s view us. I hope my Mother and Aunt felt as blessed as I did whenever I wore my red pendent.