Secrets, Silence

SECRETS, SADNESS AND SILENCE.

I have always wondered why there were so many secrets in the neighborhood and also, honestly, in the family while growing up.

I know in my later years, I was not only saddened by the lack of family history, but perhaps a bit resentful.

What was so dreadful it had to be hidden, I often wondered.

My sisters and I never learned about the families our grandparents left when they boarded the ship that brought them to the new country.

We never heard the names of the brothers or sisters any of our four grandparents left in “The old country” when they said goodbye. never to return to the land of their birth. The homes where they grew up remained a hidden secret until they departed from this world. Their combined silence on the topic was probably the only thing the four of them held in common.

Today I opened my Ipad and while drinking the mandatory morning cup of black coffee, read two stories that made me wonder if possibly secrets are not sometimes prefereable.

One headline named a seven year old child who has been ordered by the court to have psychological screening. How sad. Not the screening, that is probably a protective and wise decision, but the unnecessary publicity.

Seven years olds can and do read, I know that well.

And yes, they can be cruel. The child is now exposed to having her inner sorrow and sadness reflected in other children’s gazes.. Ah, yes, this is a secret that should have been shielded from public view.

The other story involved the marriage of a prominent celebrity. It was front page news allowing the public to peer into the heartache of three human beings. An errant wife who had an affair with one of the couple’s best friends; it hardly warranted opening their bedroom doors to readers of the lurid headlines.

And undeniably, I read both stories, and then I was embarrassed. Because I understood that sometimes there are reasons for secrets. It is not always necessary to open the reservoir of private pain to public scrutiny unless there is a valid reason. Does your honesty help others who are going through a similar valley of emotion?

Or is it perhaps wiser to keep the door closed silently? I believe both the child and the couple in today’s news would have been happier if the pain in their hearts had not hit the internet.